seasons, YouTube

Why You Must Learn to Say No {Video}

September 16, 2015

Everything a season


Every season of our lives is God-appointed (Ecclesiastes 3:1).  To live out the purpose of the season and appreciate the fruit of the season, sometimes we simply have to say—no.


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  • Reply Shan September 17, 2015 at 3:32 am

    My goodness, Kim! You said so much here that resonated with me (as always).

    I remember being in seasons of busyness. It was just that-busyness that accomplished things of minimal importance. Right now, I’m in a season of waiting, and boy has it slowed me down. I am truly learning to lean more on God and His infinite wisdom. Without doing so, I would have to take double the blood pressure meds :-)

    For some reason the verse, “Be fruitful and multiply” keeps coming back to me. I haven’t fully connected it with all you’ve said here, but I’ll think in that today and seek the Spirit for what it means for me in my current season.

    Blessings on your week, sis!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate September 22, 2015 at 7:53 pm

      Shan, YES, seasons of waiting will definitely slow us down. Isn’t it amazing all the ways the Lord uses a season of waiting? Amen to leaning more on God and His infinite wisdom! I don’t think I’ll ever stop learning in that area. :) Praying the Lord continues to guide and teach you in your current season. Praise God for ever-teaching us. Blessings to you too!

  • Reply Tamara D. Davis September 19, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Hi Kim,
    As a single mother of three, I learned these lessons a long time ago. My rule was this “I am not going to be away from my kids any more than I already have to.” I didn’t try for or apply for promotions. I didn’t participate in social clubs or any of that. I was a mom and that’s what I ascribed to. Now that they are older, I’ve loosened a little bit but not a lot because my youngest is 13. I have to give him what I gave the others when they were his age. :)

    Protecting my peace became important to me when my peace returned to me. After growing up fearful and then being in an abusive marriage, I value peace. I also value my relationship with God and I make sure people know it. For example, if I have a meeting on a Wednesday night (which is only about once a month) I leave at 7pm because I have to be at bible study. I try not to plan anything on Saturday mornings because I like to spend quiet hours with God before I even open my bedroom door. I don’t get that time during the week. We have to be purposed with our relationship with God and those who are important to us. I have no problem saying “I’m not available”. :) I can only imagine how much more we have to say no when he have a spouse and that spouse needs time and care. We assuredly have to protect that relationship as well. Someone taught me that “no” means “nurturing oneself”. :) We have learn to say no.

    Thank you for the great video!!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate September 22, 2015 at 8:07 pm

      I love this, Tamara! This reminds me of my mother. She did the same thing….let promotions pass her by and wasn’t involved in extra-curricular activities, so she could be home with me. Your kids were truly blessed by that, and your son continues to be blessed by your presence. The ministry of presence is REAL. And THIS—> “I try not to plan anything on Saturday mornings because I like to spend quiet hours with God before I even open my bedroom door”….YES & AMEN! I know it’s a blessed time. I truly believe the Lord blesses our heart’s desire to spend intentional time with Him. Yep, I can imagine if someone asks you to do something on Saturday morning, you weigh that VERY carefully. :)

      • Reply Tamara D. Davis September 23, 2015 at 7:05 am

        Only two other things move me out of my bed on Saturdays–church functions and Habitat for Humanity. Both are ministry. :)

  • Reply Danielle September 22, 2015 at 10:09 am

    The only thing I have to say about this video is……YES! Haha – Kim, this is SO true. The video was awesome, especially #3, protecting our peace and joy. There is so much pressure on us as women, moms, Christians, etc. to “do and be”. You said it – you can’t please everybody. I think when you DO learn to say no, you kind of find out who your real friends are, because they get it! :)

    I have had to say no to so much in this season, and let me tell you – it is SOOOOOOO freeing! I think we become conditioned to think that saying no or paring down your schedule equals laziness, but that, really, is such a lie!

    This was an awesome video, and I hope it speaks to lots of people who want to say no, but are afraid to……don’t be afraid! It only yields more abundant life!

    • Reply Tamara D. Davis September 22, 2015 at 3:27 pm

      *waving really fast, talking like the southern woman I am* HI DANIELLE!!!

      • Reply Danielle September 22, 2015 at 3:38 pm

        Hey there Tam!!! :) Hugs from sunny Chicago for a sunny lady!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate September 22, 2015 at 8:11 pm

      Danielle, YES, so much pressure to “do and be”….it’s crazy! In the abstract, people say they understand priorities and needing to say no….until you have to say no to THEM. Yep, you learn who your real friends are. It’s SUCH a blessing when people get it!

      It IS SOOOOOOO freeing when you need to say no and you DO say no. Sometimes part of me feels like, well, if I make time here or there….but NO. All that does is eliminate the margin in life and invariably, I’m stressed. And hey, it’s actually a good thing to REST sometimes. Does anyone rest anymore?? :D

      Amen, sister…..don’t be afraid to say no. No leads to LIFE! (I love that!)

  • Reply Danielle September 23, 2015 at 10:51 am

    “until you have to say no to THEM.” = TRUTH!

    And I can say that I, for one, am wholeheartedly embracing rest these days! Took a while before I felt ok with it, and not “I should be doing X, Y, Z…” but now I love it! Centers me and gives me peace.

    I definitely recommend it! :)

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