grace, prayer, YouTube

4 Reasons Why We Need to Forgive

June 2, 2015

4 Reasons Why We Need to Forgive (2)This past Sunday, I spoke at a women’s conference, and I’d been given my message title—“Rebuilding Bridges”—about forgiveness and trust. In the weeks leading up to it, as I prepared, I knew I also wanted to pray at the conference for attendees, to know whether there was any unforgiveness lingering in their hearts.

But I heard a whisper in my own heart—Why don’t you pray that?

I didn’t know of any issues I had with unforgiveness, but that was the point of the prayer—so I prayed.

And it couldn’t have been more than a few minutes—only God, right?—that something came to mind. It was years old, interactions I’d had with a couple of women, Christian women, which (as the younger folk say), left me feeling a certain type of way.

But, Lord, I said, that’s not really a forgiveness issue. I mean, if I never saw them again, it would be cool, but . . .

He reminded me of the little gut reaction I get when I “see” them on social media—sort of an eye roll in a corner of my heart. And I knew He was saying, “That’s not cool.”

So I prayed again, repented, and asked the Lord to take away what was in my heart toward them, and to replace it with His peace.

And I rejoiced, because we hold onto things, sometimes consciously, sometimes in a corner of our hearts, and they impact our spiritual walk—but God is gracious to shine His holy spotlight, call it out, and help us to let it go.

Whether it springs from words uttered in our own homes to offenses at work, whether yesterday or thirty years ago, there’s no shortage of opportunities to forgive. And really, we must. It’s central to our faith. It’s the basis of our faith. Praise God for the blood of Jesus that bought forgiveness for our sins.

Still, forgiveness is far from easy. In this video, I’m sharing “4 Reasons We Need to Forgive,” and I’m hoping it provides encouragement. Forgiveness always moves us to a better place, as it invites the grace and power of God to work in the situation, in our hearts, and beyond.

As always, looking forward to your thoughts!

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  • Reply Tamara D. Davis June 3, 2015 at 7:25 am

    Good morning! I have not watched the video yet but I wanted to comment on what I’ve read already. In 2013, my dearest sister friend from church got married. We were TIGHT! While she was courting, I met a guy too (you’ve heard about him before). Well, after she got married, my courtship fell apart and left me wounded (nothing that was done by they guy, just the fact that it fell apart was enough to disappoint me). But what I didn’t guard against was envy, which lead to offense. I carried it for almost two years but I didn’t know what it was. What I did know was that I’d see her in church every Sunday with her new husband and I felt like a failure. The torment was brewing and it kept getting worse and worse.

    I was cordial and I spoke to her but that “it” was always there standing in the way of real closeness, the closeness we once had. I continued to fellowship with her and her husband because I was there when she met him! I witnessed them go from meeting/dating to being married so they were special to me. But in my heart, something wasn’t right but I just couldn’t figure out what. It wasn’t until about two weeks ago that I cried out to God. We had a women’s luncheon (vintage at that, so we all played dress up :)). I was taking a picture with her and in my heart I wanted to cry. I hugged her real tight for the picture and said in my heart “I miss my friend”. I went home that night and told God that I wanted whatever was there to be gone. I could literally feel something there but I didn’t know what. I told Him how much I missed my friend. The next day was Sunday. Right in the middle of the sermon, He answered. I was carrying offense and get this-she hadn’t done anything to me. After she got married, envy set it, which led to offense. It crept in and grew! Immediately after church that day, I handled it and she was so forgiving! We hugged like we missed each other so much because we did! She was wondering what happened to us as well because she didn’t understand either. After I cleared up that issue, the sunshine came out in my spirit!!!! I felt the sisterly love we had restored immediately. In addition to that, I was no longer distracted by offense while getting the word at church. I am SO free!!! The Lord has been blessing her life but because of my offense, I couldn’t even truly celebrate with her. But now, I rejoice!!! Whether you need to be forgiven or the one who has to do the forgiving, it’s worth it! I am sure I will have more to say after I watch the video. I’ll be back later.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate June 4, 2015 at 10:22 am

      Tamara, this is such a beautifully transparent story. So interesting that it was only two weeks ago that you figured this out and began to resolve it. I can totally see how envy could set in with those circumstances. It was the perfect set-up for the enemy to plant those seeds. But I love how God moved as well, beginning with that women’s luncheon and the tug on your heart. What a blessing that you handled it with her the way you did. And praise God for her forgiveness! I know it felt like a huge weight was lifted. “…no longer distracted by the offense…” Amen! The enemy was robbing you of hearing the word at church! Praise God for the freedom that forgiveness brings!

      • Reply Tamara D. Davis June 4, 2015 at 10:28 am


        • Reply Rochelle June 5, 2015 at 12:26 am

          So powerful Tamara, praise God for the healing and restoration of your friendship!

          • Tamara D. Davis June 8, 2015 at 7:15 am

            Hallelujah!!!! This friendship is truly an iron – sharpening friendship. So needed!

          • Heather Adams June 8, 2015 at 1:16 pm

            Tamara, this is such an uplifting story!

  • Reply Deborah (Debbie) June 3, 2015 at 9:49 pm

    Kim, I loved this and love the tone of it. You have told it like it is, but with a tenderness and empathy that invites us to forgive with Jesus as the focus and center of it all.

    “When we forgive we are trusting God…” That’s the bottom line. That’s where freedom is. And this…He won’t ask us to do anything that He won’t give us the grace and the strength to do…It may not feel like it, but by faith we can be certain that He is faithful to enable and empower and then to break the bonds of unforgiveness.

    Over the last few years God has been showing me just how much I need to be living out the mercy He has shown me. There is no sin done against me that trumps any sin I have ever committed. And often when someone offends or sins against me it isn’t far from a similar action or attitude I’ve been guilty of at some time (probably even in the last 5 minutes…ha!)

    When it comes down to it, I must learn to walk forgiving because this is what God asks of me and if He asks it of me it is because it gives Him glory and it does me good too. Unforgiveness is a tool of the enemy who seeks to diminish the life Christ died to give me and the enemy seeks to use me to diminish the lives of others by being unforgiving toward them, too. (Not to mention, the enemy does not want Christ’s imprint on me in this area to show itself.)

    Thankful for this video. Thank you for building me up in the Word.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate June 4, 2015 at 10:27 am

      Debbie, so thankful that you felt the tone was tender. I praise God for that. I know it’s a difficult issue, but as you said, “That’s where freedom is.”….as Tamara was just talking about above! And THIS–> “There is no sin done against me that trumps any sin I have ever committed”…oh, sister, I was thinking the same thing. We love when God shows us mercy. Lord, help us to show others the same.

      And oh, man THIS–> “…the enemy seeks to use me to diminish the lives of others by being unforgiving toward them”….so, so good. I pray we be in the business of lifting up others, rather than diminishing them, even if in our own hearts. There are so many implications to walking in unforgiveness. But YES, the glory that it brings to God when we forgive!

    • Reply Rochelle June 5, 2015 at 12:23 am

      Whoa Debbie, I’m feeling this: “there is no sin done against me that trumps any sin I’ve ever committed.” Chewing on that morsel with a hearty heapin’ of conviction. Whew!!

  • Reply Rochelle June 3, 2015 at 11:34 pm

    Kim, this post me video sparked some conviction in me. I generally view myself as someone who is very forgiving. But the point you made about rolling my eyes in my heart got me! Yep, I do that…guilty. I have been exposed, the imagery you depicted so powerful. It encourages me to be ever more vigilante about rooting up other hidden and/or overlooked sin areas in my life. Thank you, as always, for this instruction.

    • Reply Rochelle June 3, 2015 at 11:36 pm

      Wow, look at those typos! Ughhh! That should read: “Kim, this video…” I can’t even blame fatigue, as I just woke up from a 3 hour nap, lol.

      • Reply Kim Cash Tate June 4, 2015 at 10:30 am

        LOL….I knew exactly what you meant! :)

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate June 4, 2015 at 10:30 am

      Rochelle, it got me too! I love (even if it hurts initially) how God will show me *me*. I was immediately exposed, and knew I couldn’t remain in that place. I praise God that this spoke to you. I know the Lord will give grace and a holy spotlight :)) to root out those areas, all for His glory. Blessings to you, sis!

  • Reply Melissa June 5, 2015 at 7:24 am

    “But, Lord, I said, that’s not really a forgiveness issue. I mean, if I never saw them again, it would be cool, but . . .”

    After reading this, I was surprised at how much this resembles the very thought I had earlier this week about a years-old issue I had with someone. I didn’t think I had any issues with anyone, until I saw her and those old feelings resurfaced. Surely, though, that couldn’t be relevant…couldn’t be unforgiveness. But God, through this post, confirms His nudgings. Forgiveness is necessary. :)

    Thanks for your transparency. Love the blog!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate June 6, 2015 at 4:57 pm

      Melissa, it’s amazing how God reveals those things in our hearts to us, isn’t it? I am never more humbled than when God shows me *me*. So thankful that He used this post in your own life. Forgiveness is truly necessary. :) Thank you so much for your kind words about the blog. Blessings to you!

    • Reply Tamara D. Davis June 8, 2015 at 7:14 am

      Sooooo necessary!

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