Submission (Ephesians – Week 10)

March 30, 2014

I couldn’t wait to get to this week, to talk about this word.  And it’s quite a word, isn’t it?  By itself, it can trigger such emotion.  Minds make the immediate assumption that it’s all about women—in particular, wives.  But it’s about so much more.  And as the redeemed who’ve been charged to walk worthy with renewed minds (see how these lessons tie together??), we should see it as so much more.

The video link is here.  Once you’ve watched, let’s talk.  How do you feel about that word?

Here’s what I find incredible.  There’s only one earthly relationship ordained by God as a symbol of the eternal union of Jesus and His church.  And this mystery is given to us in Ephesians.  In the context of that word . . . submission.

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  • Reply Tamara Davis March 31, 2014 at 7:39 am

    I’m excited about this week’s lesson! I’ll watch tonight and come back later with my thoughts.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate March 31, 2014 at 8:09 am

      Looking forward to your thoughts, Tamara! Blessings on your day!

  • Reply Tamara D.Davis March 31, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Good evening! That was very good. I really like how you broke down the roles in the home. Every kingdom has order. Submission takes humility but I have learned that there is freedom and liberty in submission. It really undermines a husband’s confidence when we don’t, well any leader for that matter. Even though I am not married, I took a moment to stop and pray for my future husband. I prayed what you suggested that we pray.

    I am also in the place of really seeing and learning how God loves, through my children. He is opening my eyes to His compassion and love after we blow it. I’ve had some issues where I wanted to go smooth off on my older kids because I warned them about something and they did it anyway. But the Lord would not allow me to do it. I couldn’t say not one thing contrary to comfort or correction. He simply said “do I do you like that when you blow it?” Color me checked!

    We are almost finished and I will not ever view the book of Ephesians the same again. This book is like my lil baby now! LOL God bless you Kim. April is the month of my corporate fast so the only website I’ll be checking is yours because I want to finish out the study. This has been wonderful!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 2, 2014 at 8:04 pm

      Good Evening Tamara! I love this…”Every kingdom has order.” Yes! And you’re so right that there’s freedom in submission. In those moments when we subject ourselves to a husband or other leader that God has placed over us, there’s peace in knowing we’re in that right order. And I definitely get a check when I’m *not* in order…no peace in that. ;) Love that you prayed for your future husband! :) And I know exactly what you mean about relating to your children. I’ve had those moments as well…wanting to go “smooth off”…lol Yet, when you *know* how much God has forgiven you and corrected you and everything else :) and you see your kids messing up (especially if it’s some of the same stuff you’ve done…ouch)…you can’t help but show compassion along with the correction. But it does take the Holy Spirit in those moments because the flesh still wants to go off. lol!

      Soooo glad Ephesians is like your lil baby now! Awesome!! Praying the Lord’s blessings upon you as you fast and thankful you’re led to finish the study with us!

      • Reply Tamara Davis April 3, 2014 at 11:00 am

        When I read Debbie’s comments, I stopped and prayed for myself as well. I’ll comment down below.

    • Reply Deborah (Debbie) April 3, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      Tamara “smooth off”…it has me grinning.

      Wise words in your post, Sister!

  • Reply MrsTrip98 April 1, 2014 at 6:03 am

    Hi Everyone,

    Kim explained the difference between the indwelling and filling of the Holy Spirit. The explanation was a perfect preface to the lesson about submission.

    Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15: 5 NIV) Without God’s purposed direction, it can be difficult to see the beauty in submission.

    Being raised by a “superwoman” of sorts who worked two jobs to provide for two girls while going to college ingrained a sense of independence in me. On the other hand, my husband came from a two-parent home in which some of the compromises and partnership of marriage was illustrated for him. Thus, he understood the importance of love and practiced it within the marriage while patiently waiting my growth in some areas. Did I tell yall before that my husband was “fixed to fit” me :)

    I once heard a pastor recall a survey that was given to an audience of married people. The question was asked, “Between love and respect from your spouse, which is most important?” Wives raised their hands when love was the option, and husbands raised their hands when respect was the option.

    If we were to put a spotlight on Ephesians 5: 22,25, we would completely understand the response of that audience. Because of the order that God has placed in the home, He gave wives the deep desire to be loved by their husbands. I can attest that knowing my husband loves me means a lot. If there is a day I do not feel his love, I am unsettled. Likewise, God has placed the deep desire within husbands to be respected.

    We (women) are a bit analytical. We want to understand the who, what, when, where, why, and how about every little thing. At times we have a lack of understanding as to how men are wired. We do not understand their thoughts or actions. Within these verses in Ephesians, God gives us understanding of people who we sometimes think are from Mars :) Rather than understanding every angle or situation with regard to our husbands’ decision, God simply wants us to submit and trust in Him. It is not about the decisions our husbands make; rather, it is more so about reflecting “the picture of Christ and his church.”

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 2, 2014 at 8:16 pm

      Hi Sis! Ooh, I was so glad to see the John 15 quote. I love those verses. There’s just something about that truth that gets me every time. And this part comes to mind all the time…”Apart from me you can do nothing.” I KNOW I couldn’t submit apart from the Lord. There’d be way too much of *me* and, like you, I definitely had/have :) an independent spirit. My mom was a superwoman also…divorced when I was 4 and, for a time, went to school while working a corporate job. I always had it in my mind that I needed to get a good job so I could take care of myself and not depend on a man. I can just picture the Lord smiling down on me even then. :) I love that your husband was “fixed to fit” you (I love that saying too!)…patiently waited for your growth… Is that awesome or what? What a blessing!

      So, so true about husbands and wives being wired differently and having a deep desire for different things…love vs. respect. And as I read your comment, it struck me that if we’re not giving our husbands proper respect, and maybe not understanding how they’re wired….they could be so hurt that it affects how they love us. It becomes a negative cycle…because if we don’t feel loved, we don’t show respect.

      The Holy Spirit sure knew what He was doing when He moved Paul to add, “as unto the Lord.” :) You’re so right that we want the who, what, when, where, why and how…and if we don’t get all that, we’re not likely to get on board with whatever it is. But… If we do what we’re called to do “as unto the Lord,” imagine what our marriages would be like! There’s probably not a day that goes by when we don’t have an opportunity to show respect and submit in some way or another. Lord, help us to simply trust you and reflect that divine picture you’ve called us to reflect.

      • Reply Tamara Davis April 3, 2014 at 11:12 am

        Now that’s a viscous cycle–no respect, no love–no love, no respect. WOW!

    • Reply Deborah (Debbie) April 3, 2014 at 2:31 pm


      “Without God’s purposed direction, it can be difficult to see the beauty in submission.” Ahhh, that’s it, itsn’t it. So true. And His purposed direction is such a very very very good thing!

  • Reply Deborah (Debbie) April 1, 2014 at 4:04 pm

    Hello Kim…Hello Blog Sisters…

    Well. I was so encouraged by this!

    In order to live according to this we HAVE to know who our God is, that He is sovereign, that He is a God of love and wisdom, that His purposes are perfect and good and that He works them out with complete understanding of everything and jut how that is best done. We HAVE to trust HIM!!!

    When we do we will be submitting first and foremost to HIM. Everything else is about that and about trusting HIM and His purposes and believing that He is at work in it all for His purposes — to show Himself and to bless us (although, again, we may not realize the full blessing on this earth AAAANNNDDD we may not know the grief from which we’ve been saved through our submission to HIm). True submission is a choice of FAITH in and HONOR of God.

    BUT what freedom there is in such a thing because

    1. There’s the God thing :)

    2. We have prayer (and we get to watch God work in us and “them”)

    3. Its about “orderly” appropriate submission (we aren’t slaves of everyone because they name the Name of Jesus…there is appropriateness and order to the authority we are to submit to)

    4. Pray and watch God work (and even when it “seems” He isn’t KNOW He is and there will be fruit).

    5. There’s the “God thing”. (Did I already mention that??)

    I cannot tell you how I was blessed on your presentation of truth on me submitting to my husband.

    AND I was thinking, when I pray for my husband to love me as Christ loved the Church or for wisdom and change of mind or heart if I believe that’s what is necessary….my prayer needs to be the same as I would want. I WANT him to pray that I will be submissive not because He wants to rule me but because he’s crazy about God and desires God to be glorified through me and because he loves me and wants me to live in fullness of Him (that would be God :) ) and that God’s purposes would be fulfilled in my life and in/through our marriage. THAT’S the attitude I need to have when I pray for my man when it comes to this!

    I love your reminder “Nothing is too hard for God!” (you’ll find THAT all over the Word!!!)
    I had to grin…not even giving me a submissive spirit, the ability to trust God when it seems “someone” who is in the wrong might be running the show (cause really they aren’t — God is still God!!!!) A humble spirit, a heart to pray when I want to pout….and not even if He needs to change someone else’s heart and decisions is too hard for Him.)

    The bottom line truth here is that it’s all about God and that’s a wondrous thing!!!!

    I echo your prayer/blessing May His Word richly dwell in us…and may we be forever marked by it!!!

    • Reply Deborah (Debbie) April 1, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      P.S. Know what…I need to remember, too, that even if my husband makes choices and decisions that aren’t what I think are wise or right and even if that proves to be true on occasion, my God is still sovereign and HE has a purpose and a plan in having allowed those decisions to be made and stand….gotta trust My God and respect my man who has been placed by God in the position he holds in this marriage.

      • Reply Deborah (Debbie) April 1, 2014 at 4:08 pm

        P.P.S…I’m a work in progress ;)

        • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 2, 2014 at 8:41 pm

          *raises hand* I’m certain I’m a bigger work in progress. ;)

      • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 2, 2014 at 8:41 pm

        Knowing God is sovereign impacts soooo much of life. Your statement is a truth that we all need to get and hang onto. EVEN IF our husband makes an unwise decision or worse, God is still at work. Our trust in Him is never misplaced.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 2, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      Hello Debbie! Yes, yes, amen, and amen!….”In order to live according to this we HAVE to know who our God is…” It’s amazing how true that is in everything that God calls us to…and yet, especially in submission. :) Trust is truly key! For a while in my marriage, I didn’t think of it as submitting to God first and foremost. But when that’s your focus, it’s so freeing. We don’t have to worry about whether our husbands (or we) have it right or whether this huge life decision is wise or unwise. Can God not re-direct us? Can He not establish His will even if we BOTH have it wrong? :) “…although, again, we may not realize the full blessing on this earth AAAANNNDDD we may not know the grief from which we’ve been saved through our submission to Him)”….that resonates so much with me. It’s not an “exciting” truth, but in this world, we will have tribulation. We won’t experience the fullness of God’s blessings here. But it’s still true that obedience brings blessing, even if we don’t see it in the ways we might like. As you said, who knows what we’ve been saved from that we’re not aware of!

      This right here…”We have prayer (and we get to watch God work in us and ‘them’)” That’s what my last Marriage Moments was about because I’ve seen it time and again. It’s amazing actually, to watch God work that way. We might have a conversation and be totally at odds with one another, and it might look like there’s no way the gap can be bridged. In those times, I’ve gone off and prayed for the Lord to accomplish His will, and been absolutely stunned by the turn of events He brings about. It might simply be my husband coming to me and saying, “I’ve been thinking….” OR, it might be a realization of my own heart that hadn’t occurred to me before…but now I see what my husband was saying.

      YES…there’s absolutely the “God thing”….absolutely!

      “THAT’S the attitude I need to have when I pray for my man when it comes to this!” It takes humility, doesn’t it?? Of course, the Lord has shown me this even more lately. ;) I need to humble myself and pray, not to have my way, but actually pray FOR my husband….that he walks in wisdom, that he seeks the Lord, that he loves me as he should… And I love that you want your husband to pray for you as well, that you’ll honor the Lord by submitting to Him. Amen! There’ve been times when I’ve had a change of heart about something and thought, “I bet he was praying and got God on my case.” lol

      May we all, in your apt words, PRAY AND NOT POUT. :D Love you sisters!

      • Reply Deborah (Debbie) April 3, 2014 at 9:59 am

        Ouch…there was so much head nodding to what you were saying in your reply here that I gave myself a headache (grin). LOVE your wisdom. And btw, your post was so much what I needed to be encouraged and equipped in this area and at this time. Sometimes I think (are you ready for this) that submitting to my guy’s final decisions on things is “letting me off the hook”. It’s not, its calling me to walk by faith and rest in God!

        • Reply Tamara Davis April 3, 2014 at 2:09 pm

          That’s good!!!

          • Tamara Davis April 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm

            That was a good statement Debbie. I never looked at it like that.

          • Deborah (Debbie) April 3, 2014 at 2:25 pm

            Tamara, sometimes pride and lack of faith can “masquerade” as responsibility (don’t ask me how I know this — I just do). (Not always — but sometimes :) ) It can go the other way too…good thing we have a God who loves to teach, equip and transform us through His Word and His Spirit. …And all Debbie’s family said “AMEN!!!!” (Yes, that loud :) )

          • Tamara Davis April 4, 2014 at 7:06 am

            LOL @ “all in Debbie’s family said amen.”

            The Lord has been dealing with me about pride as well and how it’s so sneaky. I am THANKFUL about being worked on!

        • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 4, 2014 at 11:30 pm

          I know exactly what you mean! Such a good point that submission doesn’t release us *in that sense* :) I’m praying to be more prayerful (hope that makes sense) in all circumstances…this walk of faith and trust is suuuch a daily challenge…

      • Reply MrsTrip98 April 5, 2014 at 5:47 am

        That “God thing” is so true, Debbie! Submitting to our husbands (in such a way that does not conflict with God’s will) equates submitting to God.

    • Reply Tamara Davis April 3, 2014 at 11:15 am

      So you know when I got to this part ” I WANT him to pray that I will be submissive not because He wants to rule me but because he’s crazy about God and desires God to be glorified through me and because he loves me and wants me to live in fullness of Him (that would be God :) ) and that God’s purposes would be fulfilled in my life and in/through our marriage. “, I prayed this for myself as well! Great point Debbie!

  • Reply Deon A April 4, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    Hello Kim and Blog sisters

    I feel so behind I havent watched the video yet but loving the comments. So much to think about and i will be back to respond.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 4, 2014 at 11:12 pm

      Hey Deon! Believe me, I know how it is…life gets BUSY. But you’ve definitely been missed! :) Whenever you’re ready and able, you know we’ll love to read your wisdom and insights. :)

  • Reply Deon A April 5, 2014 at 11:50 am

    Firstly, Kim I really want to commend and honor you for all that you are doing. I don’t know you personally but as a young woman I feel so blessed to be in your company. To see that you are following the command of The Lord in Titus 2:3-4 and sowing good seeds in my life. Also, You are encouraging us to do what 1 Timothy 2:1-4 says which is to pray for all men ( this is a great reminder for me even as a single person).

    I pray that God will reward you for all you are doing through every medium he has provided thereby bringing Glory to his name. May you continue to grow in wisdom, strength and grace to carry out all that God has commanded you to do. May your family continue to call you blessed and the promises of Deuteronomy 28 be manifested in your life and your family’s life as you continue to honor him!

    Now on to this topic of submission and this weeks post. What can I say? You did very well in explaining to us from the word of God what is required of us as his children. As you said, this is not a popular theme today and often when brought up it’s usually for selfish benefit (gain).
    For me it is very simple and is just a continuation of last week study and is simply wrapped up in “being humble”. Humility in Christ! Being filled with the spirit ( walking according to Gods will). When this is our desire everything falls into place. I am not married and as you mentioned in the study no matter how long you are married it’s a challenge but with God it is possible. I just love God because Everyday we have an opportunity to grow in this area (of submission) by honouring those who are over us. I am always amazed every time I read these verses that following Gods command should not be dependent on whether anyone sees or appreciates what we do though it would be nice. For as the scripture points out we do these things “As unto The Lord ”
    Ephesians 6:7-8
    With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.
    But Sin ( or the flesh says ” why should I if he or she isn’t doing it)- the blame game!

    Romans 12 :1-2 from the message bible wraps up nicely all that you have said here in the study.

    Romans 12:1-2 (MSG)

    So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you:Take your everyday, ordinary life––your sleeping, eating, going–to–work, and walking–around life––and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well–adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well–formed maturity in you.

    I am so blessed to be on this journey with you and my fellow blog sisters. Where I can learn and glean wonderful insights on how to live a life that will be pleasing to God.

    Thank you again Kim, enjoying this journey. Blessings!


    • Reply Kim Cash Tate April 6, 2014 at 7:58 pm

      Deon, your encouraging words mean so much…more than you could possibly know. I praise God that you feel I’m having a Titus 2 influence in your life. That’s such a blessing to hear! And that PRAYER…I read it twice slowly to soak it in and receive it. :) Thank you so much, sis! So refreshing to my soul.

      I love how you distilled the lesson down to the simplicity of “being humble”…yes! There have definitely been times when I’m having a hard time submitting to something, and the Lord shows me it’s a humility problem. Ouch. And I’ve also noticed a very real difference when I focus on the Lord and submit to HIM…my heart simply changes. I was nodding big at this…”I just love God because Everyday we have an opportunity to grow in this area (of submission) by honouring those who are over us.” There’s ALWAYS opportunity because there will always be some new decision or some new *something* going on that requires submission. And since we’re always in this unredeemed flesh that likes to rise up… Yes, opportunity. :)

      I’m amazed as well by the fact that we do what’s right whether anyone sees or appreciates. It’s so easy to take offense or fall into self-pity (nobody appreciates what I do) or as you said, engage in the blame game. It changes EVERYTHING when it’s enough that God sees and God rewards. Lord, let it be enough for each of us, I pray.

      Amen to Romans 12 from the message bible!

      So glad you were able to find time to join us! I so appreciate your thoughts and wisdom, and your desire to walk worthy of the Lord. Blessings to you, sis!

  • Reply Patricia G. Bush April 21, 2014 at 11:05 am

    Oh Kim how you blessed my soul with this teaching. I am about to be married and the Holy Spirit has been teaching me about this subject over the past year. Submission is such a beautiful thing and to me not a hard thing because I know that it’s in obedience to the Word and pleasing to the Lord. Your teaching makes it so plain and a desirable thing when we realize that a wife humbly submitting to her husband is a picture of Christ and the Church. It’s His divine order for the home. What beautiful imagery you created taking the Scripture line upon line, precept upon precept, and letting it speak for itself. I realize that I’m a bit late listening to the teaching but there is no expiration date on the Word or the illumination of the Holy Spirit. It’s always timely and applicable when we open our hearts and have ears to hear. Bless you Kim and may your marriage continue to thrive even as you are helping others walk worthy of the Lord in our homes, on the job, and in the marketplace. PBush

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