Desperate

I’ve been deep in a months-long study of sin and temptation. It started as a homeschool project for my seventeen-year-old son.  I ordered a pile of books to supplement a Bible course for this fall, books that would strengthen his faith and deepen his pursuit of God.  But as I began reading, starting with, “The Pursuit of Holiness,” then, “The Crucified Life,” I saw that these books weren’t just for my son’s schooling.  They were for my schooling.

A favorite prayer for years has been, “Make me know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation.” (Psalm 25:4-5)  God was answering, teaching me deep truths about the workings of sin and temptation, in general and, particularly, in my own life.

But I hadn’t seen anything until I got to John Owen, a pastor and leading theologian from the 1600’s in England.  It’s hard to put into words the effect his works have had on me.  Maybe the titles give a clue as to the power they pack:  “Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers;” “Of Temptation:  The Nature and Power of It;” and “Indwelling Sin.”  (Mine is a single volume that includes all three works, called “Overcoming Sin and Temptation,” which can be found here.)

I’m on Owen’s third book now, reading slowly, as I did the first two.  Every other sentence, I stop, ponder, re-read, repent, pray, praise . . .  I’ve gained immense insight into the sin that dwells in me—the thoughts and inclinations, the subtle, even momentary shifts from a wholehearted pursuit of God.   As this verse takes on a new dimension—“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9)—I’m deeply aware of the evidence in my own heart that it’s true.

As I tune into the inner war that daily takes place—to say what I should, do what I should, think what I should—I’m more desperate than ever for God.  Without Him, there’d be no inner war.  I’d be a slave to sin, plain and simple (Romans 6:5-7).  But from the time He saved me and gave me His Spirit, the battle was enjoined.

“For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please.” Galatians 5:17

I’m more aware of my sin, but I’m also more aware of the power of God.  I’m more aware of the gift of God, in giving us His Spirit.  And I’m more aware of my need of God—moment by moment.  If I don’t cling to Him, if I don’t seek Him, if I don’t fill my thoughts with Him, if I don’t delight in Him . . . I will drift.  I know this.  Thus, I’m praying to remain gloriously . . . desperate.

Are you mindful of even subtle moments when your “flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh”?  Does it make you more desperate for God?

51 Responses to “Desperate”

  1. Danielle says:

    KIM! Ooooohhhhhhhh, I feel God at work! Not one hour ago, I thought to myself “I really need the blog fam!” And as I got ready to shut my computer off for the night and get some much-needed sleep, I thought “Let me just check the website to see if anything is going on”, and – there was your new post! :) I have not even gotten the email notice yet. God is working, and what a work He is doing through this post! Kim, this was a deep one!

    I have been wrestling lately, and can totally relate to you saying “If I don’t cling to Him, if I don’t seek Him, if I don’t fill my thoughts with Him, if I don’t delight in Him…I will drift.” YES. Made me think of the conversation we all had a long while ago about the mountains and obstacles God puts in our way as wake-up calls.

    So…..what is He trying to teach me in this season? Yes, I have been drifting and neglecting my God; I’ve forgotten that desperation for Him that is so awesome, and the devil got a foothold, more on Bavin than me, but it is affecting me! He is talking again about how he does not love me anymore and thinks he is done, same old from the past, although he has not “moved out” of our room like he did the last time, but he is in a dark place with battles of his own. And yes, through this, I am more and more mindful of those subtle moments when my flesh (or my tongue) wants to act one way. but my spirit knows otherwise….it DOES make me more desperate for God, because I know that it is ONLY through Him and the whispers of the Holy Spirit that I am able to change my behavior and keep attempting to walk in love and faith. For that, I am thankful, but I AM hoping that my mind and heart remain desperate so God does not have to keep knocking me upside the head with stuff like this, because I am sure ready for a season of love and companionship in my marriage!!!

    I hope all is well with all of you, my blog fam!

    • Deborah (Debbie) says:

      Danielle, I am going to prayer for you right now and will continue to pray for you as the Spirit prompts. Hold fast to our God who is your refuge and your strength! I am praying that you will be so focused on God, so conscious of the God who loves you and is in this with you and for you that you will be lifted up and enjoy HIM and have a song in your heart — “even though”. I am praying that you will KNOW by faith that God really does have a plan and a purpose in allowing this to touch you and that it is good even when you can’t see it and it doesn’t seem to make any kind of sense to you. I will also be praying for your husband and that God’s hand will work in a mighty way on His heart and head. Grow deep in HIM, my dear Sister.

      Hugs. Debbie

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Danielle, I saw this on my way to bed and went to bed praying for you, for Bavin, for your marriage, and for your family as a whole. My heart so goes out to you. And yes, it had to totally be God at work for me to post when I did, because usually I wait till later at night. The Lord knew that your blog sisters needed to surround you with love and with prayer…..I so love that that’s what we do! In trying situations, the temptation is great to sink into despair, to react in the flesh, to pity one’s self (yes, I speak from experience), to grow weary, and to drift from God. And that’s for a “normal” trying situation. Yours is particularly hard. To have your husband say he doesn’t love you anymore and thinks he’s done….AND, you just had a baby….that’s CRUSHING. That’s the stuff of deep heartache…

      “I’ve forgotten that desperation for Him that is so awesome, and the devil got a foothold, more on Bavin than me, but it is affecting me!”…..of COURSE it’s affecting you. You can’t get away from the stress and heartache because this is your husband, your home. The enemy’s darts are flying at will, through words, actions, facial expressions. YES, my sister, you MUST remain DESPERATE for God. This is where desperation yields the sweet fruit of the peace that passes understanding….of love that is ONLY possible through Christ….of joy unspeakable and full of glory. The joy of the Lord is your strength….never forget that. The enemy wants to depress us and take our joy because it weakens us. But you are the light in that home. You are the salt. You are indwelled by the Spirit of God, with all the power and might you need to withstand this. Stand firm. Don’t be moved by Bavin’s words or actions, as hard as it is….I know it’s hard….I hope you know I’m not saying this lightly. Walk by faith, not by sight, or you’ll go crazy. Turn every unkind word, action, and expression into a prayer….just shoot it upward and don’t let it into your heart. Let the Lord fight this for you, and look to Him to fight it. This is spiritual. I’m praying as always for the Lord to move in Bavin’s heart and bring him to his knees, and for His grace and strength and peace and power to overwhelm you. I’m so glad you shared this. We’re with you, my sister. We love you.

      • Tamara Davis says:

        Amen and Hallelujah!!!! That was the truth right there! Thanks for ministering to her Kim. Glory to God! Let the Lord fight it…I’ve heard this so many times but hearing it right here and right now reminds me that EVERY spiritual battle is His and He can fight it a whole lot better than we can! Danielle, take heed to the wisdom being spoken by this married, woman of God! Thank you Kim!

    • Kristian says:

      Hey Danielle! Hold on dear sister, God is working out some things for you right now. It’s providence working behind the scenes. God is with you and Bavin, and your new and beautiful family of 4! God loves you and we do to!

    • MrsTrip98 says:

      Danielle,

      Only God knows what is going through your husband’s head just as He knows the depths of the desires of your heart. Be steadfast and unmovable, my sister. Sometimes one spouse needs to see unconditional love through his or her partner. I can’t say that men are the only ones who need to see this, for I actually learned this through the love and care my husband has given me over the years. Sometimes I look back and think, “How on earth did this man endure my ways for sooo long?” I have found only one answer to that question…that is my husband was “fixed to fit” me, my circumstance, and my plan per my LORD. I will certainly be praying for you and your husband. Peace and blessings, sis.

      • Kim Cash Tate says:

        What a beautiful testimony that your husband was the one who loved and cared for you…”fixed to fit”…..how awesome is that??

      • Danielle says:

        I loved the “fixed to fit” testimony as well…..beautiful and an awesome illustration of God’s workmanship! Thank you!

    • Kim says:

      Sweet sister, you are very much lifted up in this hour. As hard as it may seem right now, as challenging as it has been, trust that God sees and knows. He has already spoken the answer.

      My heart is for you, your husband, and your family. Don’t lose hope. This is spiritual warfare at its worst. The LORD has won though, which means you have too.

      May God rain down healing over every life in your home. May that which is lost be found. May that which is incomplete be made whole. May new hearts and new minds be birthed through Christ.

  2. Tamara Davis says:

    Good morning! I felt it was about time for a post too! This was really deep and just as I was reading I felt a spirit of condemnation attempt to creep in, of which I had to put in check immediately!(About all the things I’m not doing enough of). There is now NO condemnation to those who are im Christ Jesus! Glory!

    Yes, I agree about the clinging to Him. These last 18 months have shown me just how much I need Him, His word and most importantly HIS LOVE!!! His love is changing my life daily and drawing me to desire Him and His ways more and more. There are times when the battle between flesh & spirit is obvious and other times it’s not. I thank God for the Holy Spirit, the teacher of truth! I’ve leaned and relied on the Holy Spirit like never before. I’ve reached a point where I cannot go through my day w/o conversing with Him! I know there is so much more to discover about God and myself! I am so ready for the journey.

    • Deborah (Debbie) says:

      God morning, Kim. Desperate for God. Yep, that’s me! Recently I went through a particularly difficult struggle with condemnation (Hi, Tamara…I so get it!). Oh my, but I have failed in life.Sigh. “If only”, “why didn’t I’, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…Then God reminded me that, yes, I messed up — and will do so again — HE IS FAITHFUL. HE is God and it is HIS work that makes me clean, not my own. HE is to be my focus and that He will empower me to live as He calls me to but HE is my Hope not my own work or righteousness. AND…awareness of my sin and the areas I need to submit to Him is not to restrict or limit me but rather to enable me to live life — real life abundant and free in HIM. And I think that the awareness of our sin is not meant to discourage us but to deepen our awareness of our desperate need of Him…its His work from beginning to end and joy begins as we submit to that loving work of His depeanding on Him to transform us into radiant joyful women who radiate with HIM.

      Praying that God answers your prayer for more and more and more of HIM
      Love ya! Debbie.

      • Kim Cash Tate says:

        Good morning Debbie! Oh, yes, I’ve been there too, struggling with the “If only”, “why didn’t I’, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…” What’s interesting, though, is that reading and understanding more about sin and temptation liberated me from condemnation. I know, it sounds weird. But I understand better that this is the struggle we have in this flesh. This is how it will be this side of heaven. We won’t be free of sin….we’re not enslaved to it, but not completely free either. This is freeing because we understand that we won’t achieve perfection in unredeemed flesh. We will sin…. And with a right perspective, we can repent and continue “In Hot Pursuit” of the One who began this work in us and will see it to completion. “And I think that the awareness of our sin is not meant to discourage us but to deepen our awareness of our desperate need of Him…” AMEN…to keep us in a frame of constant dependency. We have to understand our inherent weaknesses, the treachery that lies in our own hearts….so we can keep our eyes on the God who sanctifies us. It truly causes me to lift my heart in praise to Him, knowing the power of His mighty hand in our lives. But no condemnation among the blog sisters….praying against that right now…:) Love you too, Debbie!

        • Deborah (Debbie) says:

          Oh, yes! Kim, it isn’t the awareness of sin that causes the condemnation it is the fleshly part of me that just might be called pride (hmmm???) and the enemy of God and my soul — the evil one, who attacks where he can get a foothold AND who works to get my eyes off God and his grace, mercy and justice (and that justice is satisfied by Christ — yay!!!) and see the sin as ruling rather than understanding that GOD rules and desires greater and greater freedom and growth for us. I think there is a huge huge difference between being Holy Spirit inspired “self-aware” (i.e. a growing awareness and understanding of what I am truly believing, who or what is really my God — I could write a whole blog post on that — oh, wait, watch for it in the new year…grin) where I am enmeshed in sin or heading down that path and what the strongholds in my life are and condemnation…Condemnation “forgets” that God is God and He is faithful and it is HIS work not our own that produces righteousness and in a crazy way it makes me “god”…my trust is somehow in me and my work (or lack thereof). An appropriate understanding of sin and how it is working in my life is a gift from God and part of His path to freedom as I repent and dance in the freedom He has given me to live in victory in and through Him. Halleluljah…say “Amen”!!!!

          • Kim Cash Tate says:

            “I think there is a huge huge difference between being Holy Spirit inspired ‘self-aware’…where I am enmeshed in sin or heading down that path and what the strongholds in my life are and condemnation”…..YES! and WELL-SAID! It is truly a blessing (and a gift, as you said) when the Holy Spirit shows me ME, even though it hurts to see it, because it’s for my good. But amen, condemnation takes our eyes off of God and His work in us. That is NOT the pursuit we want.

            On that path with you of repenting and dancing in freedom…..the imagery there is awesome….think David….insert blog sisters….

      • Tamara Davis says:

        Thank you so much for your encouragement Debbie. The Lord IS the lifter of my head!

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Good morning, Tamara! YES and AMEN about not allowing condemnation to take hold. I was hoping to write the post in such a way where it wouldn’t foster condemnation. We need to take a healthy look at the sin in our lives (even at the thought level…especially at the thought level, since that’s where it starts) and regularly repent, but the focus is really the goodness and power of GOD who transforms us. I thank God for the Holy Spirit as well….His ministry is AMAZING, all day, every day. “I know there is so much more to discover about God and myself!”….YES! This journey never gets old or stale. I pray to be ever learning and growing, and I know my blog sisters have that same heart. So glad we’re on the journey together!

    • MrsTrip98 says:

      Hi Tamara,

      I have found that the daily intimate walk with Christ is sweeter than the day before.

    • Danielle says:

      I love this – “I know there is so much more to discover about God and myself! I am so ready for the journey.” Amen, Tam!

  3. Mona says:

    Morning Kim and everyone. This is good. I needed to be reminded that I need to be more aware of the power of God. I tend to focus on the sin I struggle with which takes me away from seeking God’s power OVER sin (Im not sure if that makes sense to anyone but it sure makes sense to me LOL). Thanks Kim, I am reminded of what I need to do and be aware of. Thanks for sharing!!!
    Mona

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Good morning Mona! I definitely understand what you’re saying. It’s interesting that the enemy would love for us to either focus too much on sin or not enough. We do need to be aware of sin in our lives and repent, to maintain close fellowship with God. But God is the definite focus. Romans 6 always blows me away, to know that through Christ, I’m no longer a slave to sin….that He’s given me power over sin. Wow! Focusing on God and His power gives us assurance that there’s no sin we can’t overcome. He is greater. That’s such a praise. I’m thanking Him that this post spoke to your heart this morning. Blessings, my sis!

  4. Kristian says:

    Desperate! Oooh Kim, that’s beeeeen me for the past few days. I had not been getting my Godtime in or my bibletime, so many distractions, so many things to do, so many things, so little time. And this past Friday was my breaking point. I got to a place where I was unsteady and weak. I got to a place where, “God I need you, so badly.” I got to a place where everyhing that seemed so right and so good, was not okay and was sooo bad. I had gotten to a cold, dark, and lonely place. It was a rough place. But then I decided to press. I pressed into prayer, I pressed into praise, and I pressed into worship. I pressed into him, because of the desperation, and all I can say is it feels so good!

    Anywho- Hey blog family, how have yall been. What’s new? I miss yall!

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Hey Kristian! Yes, yes & yes! When the distractions and the busyness and LIFE gets in the way of Godtime and bibletime….you just KNOW you’re unsteady and need God. I’m so thankful that the Spirit gives us that awareness that we’re OFF….not centered where we need to be. And then when you start pressing and worshiping and praising….it DOES feel good! It’s so awesome that we can get to that place again, of being in His presence and washing away that feeling of unsteadiness. I love that He welcomes us, that He beckons us, that He renews and restores us! Rejoicing with you for feeling renewed! Missed you too, sis!

  5. Rachel Hauck says:

    So good, Kim.

    My own actions at times make me realize how sinful and desperate I am for Him. The other day, He broke in, like a Father, and said, “Um, not again.”

    It was cool because I felt both the sternness of it and the love in it.

    Oh, to be more like Him.

    Rachel

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Oh, Rachel, exactly…..”the sternness of it and the love in it.” I LOVE that. Our Father speaks to us in such a way that we’re aware it’s sin, and thus serious….and yet, His love speaks volumes and draws us near. Yes, our heart’s cry…to be more like Him….

    • Danielle says:

      Rachel, I love these thoughts……beautifully said (don’t you love when you hear God prodding “not again?”)

  6. Lauren says:

    YES! I am so desperate for God. I have gone through a life changing situation and my faith is surely being tested. I am realizing that if I don’t cling to God moment by moment, I will not make it! Thank you for your post, and thank you to the blog sisters for your transperancy. God is at work in us all and in all of our situations! Be blessed!

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Lauren, it’s those life changing situations that lead us to desperation. God surely knows that if our faith weren’t tested, we wouldn’t reach that point of desperation…..that is, of *knowing* our desperation. In reality, we need Him for our next breath, among ten thousand other things, but somehow we don’t live with awareness. ;) Praying, my dear sis, that you continue to cling to Him moment by moment. He is transforming you from glory to glory in the midst of this. Even as you recognize your need of Him, you are growing closer to Him….and what a wonderful work of God that is. Blessings to you too!

  7. MrsTrip98 says:

    Hey Sisters,

    Kim’s timely posts always get to the heart of what is going on with me. How does she do that? Nevermind…I know :)

    The sharp turns of life’s obstacle course has a multitude of ways to distract and discourage. I was so off my path that when I went to church, my heart was not prepared to receive the Word. Not receiving the Word means opting out of my dosage of the Spirit. Sadly, my emotional and physical health began to decline. I could not concentrate. I had daily headaches. My stress level was up, and I thought was on the brink of getting high blood pressure. Since I am an African-American women who is approaching 40, I thought maybe it was in my genes to be stricken with the sometimes hereditary disease. If it wasn’t hypertension, I was certain that some other illness was lurking in my body.

    A series of tests indicated no hypertension or any other illnesses.

    Isn’t it amazing how I just diagnosed myself with a sometimes fatal disease instead of coming to terms with me skipping my daily dosage of spiritual medication? One of you blog sisters told me before that it takes more of God each day to sustain us.

    Needless to say, I retreated to my secret closet to let God know of my realization. After I prayed, I needed to meditate. I found that I was spending more time before talking (praying) and less time listening (meditating). This was my prayer of gratitude that God allowed me to come to this realization that I am indeed desperate to hear his voice. And then I allow him to speak to me. I need his love and breath of peace to sometimes drown out so much of the extraneous background noise of life.

    His love, voice, and breath of peace are the cornerstone of my emotional and physical well being.

    Thanks for this excellent post Kim!

    Much love to the sisterhood…

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Ah, I love this, sis…..”His love, voice, and breath of peace are the cornerstone of my emotional and physical well being.” He truly sustains us in ALL of our ways. I LOVE when God brings us to these very pointed realizations…..realizations that impact us in the moment and shed light on our current situation. He knows us so intimately and speaks to us so profoundly. Like you, I need to spend time with Him to drown out the background noise of life. I need His voice to supersede all other voices, especially my own. He does such a deep work within us, and sometimes we need to simply be still enough to take note of it. I’m rejoicing with you that you didn’t have hypertension or any other illness….praise God! Isn’t it beautiful that His presence, His voice, His love, and His peace were exactly what you needed? Thanks so much for sharing, sis! Much love to you too!

      P.S. Yep, you already know how anything I write could ever be timely…..:)

    • Tamara Davis says:

      I am very glad you returned to the Source. MrsTripp98, the road you were headed down was satan’s classic M.O. He first separates you from the Word. Now, you’re not being fed. So, you gradually get weak, which makes him stronger in his attack and his ultimate motive which is to kill you. The further away you move from God, the easier it becomes for him to kill you. See, he already had you speaking high-blood pressure over yourself because you are “African-American, around 40ish.” Uhhh, newsflash! You’re KINGDOM which supersedes being 40 and being African-American.

      “A man’s spirit will sustain him in sickness”; “laughter is as good as medicine…” (Prov 18:14, Prov 17:22 respectively)are a couple of scriptures that popped in my mind as I read your post. Even though you weren’t sick, if you had been, being that your spirit was suffering, your body would’ve suffered too. So, see me in the corner with my cheer sweats on (because it’s cold in Florida today), pompoms in hand, doing my stern cheer clap saying to you “GO MRSTRIPP!!! YOU CAN DO IT!” (Only in my imagination can I be a cheerleader because I have not one athletic bone in my body. Don’t stray! Stay nearer to Him DAILY!!!

      • MrsTrip98 says:

        Tamara,

        This chilly Florida day was as refreshing as your post. You are absolutely right; I became weaker first spiritually and eventually emotionally. The stress would have probably likely manifested itself in some sort of physical illness. Thanks for the reminder of Proverbs–and me being the KINGDOM wow! I find myself delighting in the small things and celebrating in laughter, which I am sure has made a remarkable difference in my perspective. Thanks sis!

  8. Danielle says:

    Oh sisters, how I love this place. I am basking in the knowledge of your prayers and love, and I cried when I read your posts….tears of thanksgiving and praise. I had an AWESOME devotion/praise session on Isaiah 55 this morning after spending time reading my sisters’ messages. The verse “My thoughts are not your thoughts; neither are your ways my ways” has been burrowing into my heart these past weeks, and I meditated on the entire chapter this morning. I KNOW God is faithful, and in spite of all this, I cannot wait to see the awesome revelation of God’s plan at some point in the (hopefully near!) future. I KNOW He is working something out and I DO have a peace somewhere deep in my heart. This morning I kicked the devil out of my home and marriage and family as loudly as I could (Jaden was sleeping!). I love this place and God is at work. Love you ALL!

    • Tamara Davis says:

      Praise God!!! I am glad we can be a place of encouragement for you. The Lord is mighty!!!

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Danielle, what a PRAISE that you had an awesome time of devotion and praise around Isaiah 55 yesterday. And what a PRAISE that you determined to stand firm and fight for your marriage and family. YES!!! I continue to pray for you and your family. Yes, God is surely at work, no matter what it “looks” like. Keep your focus UP and know that we’re with you!

  9. Kim says:

    Kim, I promise you that I could take a highlighter and completely cover your last paragraph. Yes, indeed. That was some stuff right there! Desperate is the word and then some.

    Over the last few months, as I have focused on my One Word for the year, I have learned so much about myself. I have been very mindful of where my struggles lay, of what my habitual patterns are, of what idols I cling to or think I can control. On the flip side, I have become even more aware of God’s presence, of how compassionate and merciful He is when I am at my best and when I am not at my best, and of how His grace touches me when I venture into or wallow in my pits of choice.

    I can tell you this…DAILY, I fight myself. I fight to surrender. I fight to remember who I am in Christ. I fight to not cover myself in shame or guilt associated with some bad choice I might have made. I fight to bring my mind and heart and body under subjection. But God. He knew this. He knows this. And He provided. He provides.

    What gets me about God (one of the many things) is how He knew I would struggle with my “whatevers,” but He lovingly and perfectly pre-prepared/prepared my solution. He set my reminder in place. He won my battle even before I took steps to try to fight. That’s some stuff!

    There is so much I want to say, so much more I could say. As I key this response in, I find myself getting overwhelmingly excited about the LORD. Praise Him, for surely He saves us from ourselves! There is no way we can win against sin without Him – the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit. I am convinced!

    Desperate…YES, I am. Y-E-S!!! Yes, I say. Yes and amen.

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Kim…….THIS–>”I have been very mindful of where my struggles lay, of what my habitual patterns are, of what idols I cling to or think I can control”…..what I’ve learned in this months-long study is how important it is to know yourself, and I’m talking about a deep knowing of self. I’ve prayed to know my weaknesses and struggles, to know the frame of my heart….to know….THIS IS SO GOOD….my “pits of choice.” It would seem a no-brainer, that of course we should know ourselves, but the Lord has given me such insight….the kind of insight that makes you stop in your tracks when the Holy Spirit shows you. As I’ve gained insight into my weaknesses and struggles, I get to YES….that flip side. God’s power and presence and mercy. How can I not cling to the One who knows my heart better than I do?

      “DAILY, I fight myself. I fight to surrender”….and when it comes to surrendering thoughts that can go left in a heartbeat, sometimes it’s moment by moment. Oh, but God…. How He KEEPS us is nothing short of AMAZING. I get excited too, KNOWING how He’s saved me from myself….and knowing there are countless times of which I’m not aware. I’m sitting pondering that even now. His goodness and mercy endures forever!

      Can’t believe it’s been almost one year since you’ve focused on your ONE WORD. Wow. You could probably write a book on what you’ve learned. From one desperate sister to another…..

  10. Trisa says:

    I feel like I’ve been drifting far too long. I definitely feel desperate, but I don’t know if it is the glorious kind. So much is happening now, and I think, Lord, how am I to cast my cares on you? There are far too many. I got up at 3 am burdened with thoughts of custody battles, physical ailments, and lots of confusion. After being confused for a bit I thought I should check what my sister Kim has had to say lately. Now, I’m trying to figure out how this lesson on sin can help me. Unforgiveness, bitterness, condemnation, and doubt are definitely at the top of this list. Will addressing all these sins weighing so heavily on me help bring breakthroughs? I seem to not know where to start.

    Thank you so much for always sharing and providing a place for me to come when I don’t even feel worthy to crack open my Bible.

    • Tamara Davis says:

      Lord, I lift up Trisa to you today. Remind of her of your awesome and abundant love for her. Open her eyes to see YOU and how You are always there waiting to receive us and love us back to a place of peace. Lord, I thank You for her honesty in where she is because I know you respond to truth with Truth. I pray that she seeks You to realize that there is nothing too hard for You. Your word teaches us that we are to cast the WHOLE of our cares on You for You lovingly and affectionately watch over us. What she’s going through right now is not the result of some failure on her part. In You, there is no failure. Remind her that she is worthy simply because she’s yours and for no other reason. Some parents turn their back on their children and but you will not ever turn your back on her or her children. The Holy Spirit is her alongside Helper. You are a mother to the motherless and a father to the fatherless. I cast down doubt, unforgiveness, bitterness and condemnation. I speak an abundance of faith, trust, abundance, peace, forgiveness (of herself and others), and JOY into every crack and crevice in her heart and spirit. Encourage her where she is feeling discouraged and strengthen her where she is weak. Remind her that NOTHING can separate her from Your love and everything the enemy is telling her is indeed a lie. I speak that your voice becomes the supreme and loudest voice in her life! Remind her of how beautiful she is and just how powerful You are FOR YOU ARE LOVE! In the name of Jesus, Amen.

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Trisa, I was moved to pray for you when I saw first saw this and wished I could reply right away. Please know that you were on my mind, and I so felt your heart and your pain through your words. And I know that your words only touch the surface of what you’re going through and what you’re feeling. A custody battle alone is weighty and riddled with emotion and stress and bitterness….add physical ailments to that, and it’s more than enough to drive you to desperation. “…but I don’t know if it is the glorious kind”….Trisa, desperate doesn’t *feel* glorious….it just IS….because you know the Lord. It’s a state in which you realize there is NOTHING and NO ONE who can lift you from that place, heal you, renew and restore you, give you clarity for the very next step, then the next one…..only God. It’s glorious because any place where God can be GOD…where He can show Himself strong….where he can demonstrate His love and mercy abundantly…..is glorious. When He lays hold of you with His strong right hand and takes you from a place of drifting to nestling under His wing….that’s glorious.

      “Will addressing all these sins weighing so heavily on me help bring breakthroughs?” Addressing sin is always necessary and always brings us to a blessed place. With everything you have going on, you don’t want anything between you and God. His invitation is so gracious–> “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Sit in the Lord’s presence and pour your heart out before Him. Ask Him to examine your heart and to give you the grace and strength to forgive and let go of the bitterness. The temptation is strong to drift in these times, but this is when you need Him the most. He’s the only One who can strengthen you through this. Unforgiveness, bitterness, condemnation….those are added weights that you don’t need to carry. You’re not meant to carry them. There’s no grace to carry them. Let them go, and you’ll be amazed at the freedom you feel. How do you cast your cares? Ask Him to help you do that as well. TOTALLY lean on the Lord. Tell Him that apart from Him, you can do nothing. You NEED Him to help you to cast your cares, to deal with sin, to open your Bible. Those are the cries of desperation. He delights in answering those cries.

      Trisa, only the enemy would tell you that you’re not worthy to open your Bible. The Bible is where we run to in every season, every frame of mind, from every high to the lowest low. The Bible is for shedding tears on the pages because we’re hurting or in sin or confused. The Bible is our LIGHT and our HOPE and our TRUTH. I praise God that we’re not “worthy” of anything, but He’s made us HIS…..and He loves us with a fierce and unshakeable love. This is when you cling to Him, sis. Right now is when you look to Him as your strength, your rock, your fortress, your shield, your refuge, your deliverer, your GOD (Psalm 18). I’m so thankful that this was a place you could come to. Let’s dialogue back and forth….whatever you need….(((((hugs)))))

  11. Ciara Thompson says:

    Hey Kim and Blog sister’s
    Kim this is so on time!!I’m drifting and having a hard time trying to find my way back.

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Ciara, praise God that this was on time for you. Please know that you don’t have to find your way back. He knows that when we’re in a desperate place, it’s hard for us to do anything. Look to God and ask Him to help you. His strong hand will guide you. He is faithful. Praying for you, sis.

  12. Trisa says:

    Hello Ladies. Thanks so much for all the wisdom you’ve shared. Boy was I low. I often struggle with beating myself up about my knowledge of the Word or what I feel is a lack of it. Then it usually goes down hill from there. I get to thinking I don’t have my whole armor so what am I to do. This week a lot happened and I felt pretty defeated and defenseless. Even coming back and reading I felt like I should have had some immediate sense of relief. You know what helped me the most? Just asking God to really “Show Himself Strong.” Then I remember that He really is strong, and I’m try to do everything by my own might. It never works. So, now I have my worship music back on and a bit of a better perspective.

    • Danielle says:

      Praise God! Trisa, may you continue to see His strength and love in your life and in your heart….keep that music playing LOUDLY :)

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Trisa, that’s one attribute of God that I often call to mind and meditate on when I’m feeling low….that God is STRONG. I embrace my weakness in those times, knowing that when I’m weak, His strength is perfected. And worship music ALWAYS helps. I pray that His strength has continued to uplift you over this past week. Even when you’re low, crawl into His arms.

  13. Janelle Hunter says:

    Wow, wow, wow is all I can say. WOW. This hits the nail on the head, Kim. I, too, have realized that I’ve… been…drifting…And some situations at work have caused me to come back to that “desperate place.” And I have repented and fussed at myself. But I realize that, at the end of the day, we do go through seasons where our pursuit of God is so intense, it’s beautiful! Then, next thing we know, we’re not praying, reading…or anything. Not that we’re doing “wrong” things in place of spending time with God, they’re just not the “right” things. Since I realized that I needed to get back in place, I’ve been pursuing God again, taking time to really dissect the songs that I sing to God, getting back to a place of awe over the words to those songs, and what they mean in reference to our God. Sigh…thank YOU LORD.

    Janelle

    • Kristian says:

      Hey Sis! Was in the gym when you texted me, but I hot ya back. Been in the same place as you, literally, just in 2 different states, that’s the only difference. I do the same thing, get in this good pattern of Godtime, bible time and prayer time, then I get in this “few days” of doing whatever I want to do, and then I slip off, begin to feel desperate, and then slowly but surely pull my way back up to him. It’s almost like we are climbing a mountain, then we fall down 100 feet, and struggle up to get up 10 feet. Why is that? I love you Janelle, sis and my whooooole blog family!

    • Kim Cash Tate says:

      Hey Janelle! I love this–>”… we do go through seasons where our pursuit of God is so intense, it’s beautiful! Then, next thing we know…” So true! That up and down cycle…and when I’m in that intense, beautiful phase, I’ve found myself thinking, “Stay in this place….stay in this place….” But like you said, “next thing we know….” And it’s often something circumstantial, like the job in your case. But the result is the same…drifting. And so true as well that it’s not necessarily a “wrong” thing, but also not a “right” thing…not a thing that will lead us to the presence of God. That “desperate place” is indeed beautiful. YES, thank YOU LORD, for leading us back, time and time again!