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Strategic Plan

February 26, 2012

I thought I was there for a meeting about school.  I’d been asked to serve on a strategic planning committee for the school my kids attend, and they’d scheduled a kickoff meeting for Saturday morning.  But as I listened to remarks about the importance of being strategic and having a plan, I knew it was about more than the school.  God was speaking to me about my home.

In 1999, I left my legal career to have more time with my kids, who were toddlers at the time.  But God was showing me in that meeting that I had managed to generate just as time-consuming a workload in my home—writing books, blogging, and handling various other projects weekdays, evenings, and weekends.  I love what I do, so it didn’t bother me that “work” was bleeding into other facets of life . . . until God opened my eyes as to how those other areas are being affected.  I saw things I could be doing in my home, my marriage, and with my children, but couldn’t because of all the other things that “have” to get done.

So I’m prayerfully working on a strategic plan . . . for home.  I’m setting times in which I will focus on work and times in which I’ll put the work aside.  I’m resolving to resist additional writing projects that seem small when I say “yes,” but nevertheless take hours to complete—hours better spent handling what’s already on my plate.  And the exciting part . . . I’m jotting down ways to be more proactive in my marriage and with my teens.  I can’t “let life happen” with my family while being strategic about everything else.  They’re the ones about whom I need to be most strategic, and in particular, strategic about protecting my time with them.

I don’t know what this will mean overall or how it will look.  I’m not even sure what it will mean for this blog.  But the Lord has gotten my attention.  When He starts pruning and shaking up the status quo, I hope to have just one response:  “Whatever your will, Lord, let’s do it.”

Has God gotten your attention lately about the need to make fundamental changes at home or elsewhere in life?  Are you willing to make them?

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61 Comments

  • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 12:02 am

    Kim, girl I feel like I know you already. I feel like we’ve been knowiing each other for 15 yrs and have had tea and crackers at the kitchen table chatting away for hours. I saw you post something as a reespond to I think Debbie about spending more time with your kids. Even though I am not married or have kids, I def feel you on that one. And even though your post asked about what changes we need to make at home, let me encourage you first. I think you are the best role model for both of your kids, Cameron and I forgot the other’s name. Ooops. I know that they look up to you for spiritual wisdom, knowledge, advice, and prayers. They see you living an example and a light to them. And just the littel things you do with them, like helpngi Camerion clean her room, is actually spending quality time with her. Or going buy clothes with her at modest stores. Or even your son, talkngi to him about black history facts. As a daughter myself, I can remember the little things that my mom and dad did. Especially my mom. I remeber her packing my lunch when I was in middle school and part of h.s. and her puttnig a sticky note that says “Mama loves you, Have a great day in the Lord.” Those were the things that made my day. Or when I got home from school, I might have had a new book (yes i was a reader even then) on my bed with a cupcake and a sweet note. It’s the little things and I’m sure you do things like that for them all the time. I call it donig things with kindness on purpose. It could be something as simple as allowing your kids to help plan and cook dinner, killing two birds with one stone. Getting a healthy meal cooked while having fun and even taknig pics of the kids. I bet they are soooo presh, would love to have THEM in my classes. :) Hope that helps a little.

    Lately the only thing that has been slipping for me is sometimes I get so busy cleaning or picking stuff up or just plain old runnig errands that I forget to have prayer time. I mean I usually pray first thing in the am, but when I don;t it seems to get further and further down the to-do list, and then at the end of the nite I geet so tired that sometimes it;s just me saying ggodnite to God. I have to make it a plan and a habit to do so DAILY, or else I will suffer. Oh and just to let you ladies know, my spirt man was right, my hrs for my after school job was cut dramatically. But I know it;s God even though I need the money, I’m sensing a small relaseing. My after school job was cut two days, on Wed and Thurs and I’m starting my morning job back again on Tues and Thurs. So it’s gonna be hard juggling all of that. I will also be vounteering at church on Wed from 1-6, and staying for 7 pm service. I know it is def what God is leading me to do. So today I planned out all my meals for the week, lunch and dinner. I’m also trying to get my workout schedule back in order and of course gotta stay cleaning. Sometimes I recognize myself, I can get so caught up in “Church stuff” that I forget about “God Stuff” and it becomes difficult for me to get back on track. For instance, our Womens Ministry strted their bible stufy every other mon nite and I had a sensing in the spirit that I would not be partipating. When God told me it was okay to not participate, I was kinda like HUh? I thought at one point in my Christian walk that I had to do all, and volunteer for all. But God showed me that sometimes I just have to say no. So yes I am ded willing to make the changes, and am so glad you are too Kim. Praise God for your heart of obedience. Now, it;s midnight my time and one of my distractions is the internet, so I’m shutting it down now and going get in prayer. Love you sisters so much!!!!

    • Reply Kara February 27, 2012 at 10:51 am

      Kristian,
      You have such a great attitude, you are a great encouragement!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 1:11 pm

      Kristian, you know I feel like I know you too. :) I was totally smiling at your “packing my lunch” example because just this morning, Cameron asked why I don’t make her lunch. I said, “because you make it.” :) And then I read your comment. :) I might surprise her by making her lunch tomorrow and putting a sticky note in there! So appreciate your sharing the things that impacted you when you were in school. I also appreciate how you shared the things God has spoken to you about changing as a single woman. Of course, the need for prayer time affects us all, also getting caught up in all the “church stuff.” We need to be ever listening to God’s voice about what’s best in each and every season. And you are one who definitely listens. :) Love you, my sister!

      • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 2:44 pm

        Thanks Kara! Appreciate it sis. I try to stay encouraged and to encourage!

        And Kim yes I ded think that Cam would loveyou packing her lunch esepcially since she already brought it up, and she will ove the stick note, it will prob be the best part of her lunch….And thanks for the encouragement!

        • Reply Geri February 27, 2012 at 5:57 pm

          Hi Kristian! So happy to hear about your job that’s starting tomorrow. Congratulations! I know you were a little apprehensive about it, but I know that you made the God decision and not the Good decision. You are right, God will give you the “okay” to forgoe an activity and focus on something else. After all, we cannot be busy bodies. We will not be effective to anyone let alone ourselves. Wishing you much success my sis! MUWAH!!!

  • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 12:04 am

    Sorry for al the spelling errors. It seems like the Blog and email are the places i mess up the most, bec im trying to get all my thoughts out at once. Sorry :)

    • Reply Debbie February 27, 2012 at 6:13 am

      Kristian…spelling schmelling…its over rated ;)

    • Reply Tamara Davis February 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

      I either use Google chrome for my browser (has spell check) or I type my responses in a word doc then copy and paste. :o) It helps catch the words that I don’t.

      • Reply Mona February 27, 2012 at 2:10 pm

        Ditto! LOL- It’s okie dokie with me. I am sooo not a speller. Half the time I’m rushing to post my comment LOL.

        • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 2:46 pm

          Thanks Debbie, I def feel ya!
          And Tam girl that is a great idea, just too kmuch “work for me” LOL!
          And Mona the funny part is that I’m an excellent speller. At home my mom will scream out “Kris, definitely…..” And I’m supposed to know that means to spell the word out loud to her. SO that is tooo funny. But when I’m on here I just let my hair down and let it just flow!

  • Reply Debbie February 27, 2012 at 6:31 am

    Kim,
    Home…there really is not a lot of encouragement in today’s world — including in the Church — to be intentional in ministry within the home, family and with friends. (I knew a pastor who saw being family focused as being selfish….frankly, some of my most selfish times have been when I have ministered to everyone and their dog — okay, maybe not their dog, and maybe not everyone, but some others — outside of my family. ) There is a very (not so) subtle message that for ministry to be ministry its “out there”. Scripture tells us to be “busy at home”, God affirms our ministry to family. He thinks our kids and our husbands are VERY important and they are worthy of His attention and ministry — so I’m guessing He is pretty O.K. with them being a focus of our ministry and attention. Oh, my but the pressure is on to see things otherwise…the flesh is a little reluctant to take on this ministry too, I think (but perhaps I speak just for myself)

    As I seek to follow what God would have me do I am finding the most important thing, the most signficant thing is to seek HIM…as I do He leads, step by step and He helps me clarify, He affirms and confirms, He encourages and corrects and equips…

    Wherever and however God leads you, girl…GO!!!! Snuggel in close to Him, rest and follow!

    Praying you sense and rest in His presence and leading.
    Debbie

    .

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 1:17 pm

      Debbie, I think you’re right about the lack of encouragement even in the Church about being intentional in the home. At first, I wondered about that because as a homeschooler of 9 years, I know a lot of people who are and have read a lot of books written by people who are. But overall, I’m not so sure. There’s A LOT of emphasis on “ministry,” writing, speaking, whatever, but not a lot of emphasis on intentional motherhood on the front burner. And better not talk about being “busy at home” because people will get offended. ;-) But I know that I know this is what’s important to God and thus important to me. It’s just so easy to drift off track! So appreciate your encouragement to “GO!!!!” And SOOO appreciate your prayers. Thank you, my sister.

      • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 2:52 pm

        Ladies this is so true. I told a lady at my church the other day that I wasn’t participating in our Womens Min bible study and she was shocked, as if to say “What do you mean you’re not coming”. It was actually funny to me because so many times in the body of Christ we do hear ministers talk about family, write about family and actually teach about family, but when it comes down to having “family tie first” they get all nervous and judgemental. We as women especially have to be intentional to do stuff at home and for our family first. That is def our first ministry, not catering to a church function or running the kids ministry. I always said to myslef and to God of course that I wanted to home school my kids for the first few years (when I have them). What would it look like me being a full-timeteacher worknig atleast 10 hrs a day rasing someobody else’s kids, and somebody other than me or my hubby ot be with my kids all day raising mine. Def not! A def no no! Ladies I think you both have the right mindset on doing things with and for the family first bec they def are ur first ministry!

  • Reply Kim February 27, 2012 at 8:13 am

    Kim,

    Follow where the Spirit of God leads you. There are no messages communicated by Him that are not for our good or God’s glory.

    My husband and I were just talking about ministry associated with the family. We are to be good and faithful stewards in the home, as well as beyond the four walls of our dwelling place. God places much emphasis on ministering in the home among our sons and daughters. In our marriage. This message spans from the Old Testament to the New Testament.

    The book of Deuteronomy speaks to the importance of ministering to the needs of our family. In chapter 6, after God clearly affirms the most important priority for His children – to “love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might,” – we can see that God goes on to speak to what we must all do…
    – let it (His word) be on your heart
    – diligently teach your sons (and we know daughters are included in this)
    – talk of them – these words – when you sit in your house
    (Who is present in the home?)
    – talk of them when you walk by the way (Consider what this means in terms of settings.)
    – talk of them when you lie down (again, the home)
    – talk of them when you rise up (again, the home)
    – bind these words to you (read verse 8, then do background research on what this implies)
    – write these words on the doorposts of your house and on your gates

    As a D6 parent, I am all about God’s plan for the family. And while there are so many other Scripture references that speak to this, this one is probably my favorite. It says so much. It says everything. God, first. Family, second. The world, thereafter. (In the love of Christ, I’m sure you know what I mean here.)

    Our relationship with God, our obedience to His heartbeat – His directives – is and should be the top priority. From there, we must be His servants of love, caring for our families enough to share and show His words.

    Teaching comes in our actions, just as much as it comes in the things we say. We all need to ask ourselves, what does my family see? What message am I communicating to them as it relates to God and family? Do my interests and actions demonstrate that I am being a good steward over that which God has placed before me? Am I being faithfully responsible in teaching “them” diligently? Am I talking about God’s word as I sit in my home, as I lie down and rise up, and as I address household management and upkeep?

    If I were to go a step further,(and God is blowing me away with this lesson this morning; He is reinforcing some things He has revealed to me lately) how effective can any of our ministries be if we are not good ministers in the places that we have been called to stand?

    Kim, I say ALL of this just to say what I said at the beginning of this response. Follow where the Spirit of God leads you. You must. We all must, should, can, have to do it. There is something of importance that God is trying to accomplish here. From a personal standpoint, I believe, He is taking back the family. The evil one has done much to destroy the unit, but God…God is taking it back!

    Now, we all must answer His call. We must make a choice to follow where He leads, trust where He wants us to go, and do what He wants us to do. No strongholds allowed. (I won’t even touch that one.) :-)

    It’s interesting what is uncovered when you press into God, isn’t it? The pursuit was not and is never in vain.Can you tell your lesson series is still resonating? (Yep.)

    I feel confident in saying, we all support you, Kim. No matter what. Go with the God’s refining process and you are guaranteed to come forth as gold (uh…which bring me to the P31 woman). :-o (I love a good word from the LORD!)

    My prayers are for you and for every woman represented here. (Also for the 2 brave males who stop by from time to time, as well as all of the family units associated with this Colorful blog.)

    His,
    Kim

    P.S. To answer your question (tehehe), yes. ;-) God has very definitely gotten my attention, regarding fundamental changes in my life. I decided to choose Him over something that at one time seemed so important. In this, my Jubilee year, it’s all about my Daddy. I will do whatever He wants me to do…even the hard, uncomfortable, unexpected, and perfectly perfecting things He calls me to do.

    Blessings, sweet sister. Love you very much in Christ.

    • Reply Tamara Davis February 27, 2012 at 10:46 am

      Beautifully stated Kim. And oh, how I admire the P31 Woman.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 1:28 pm

      Kimmmm! You took me right back to where I was back in 2002. That’s when I started homeschooling, something I NEVER thought I’d do and at one point had prayed He would never call me to do. But He used various means to draw my heart to it, and one was Deuteronomy 6. Oh, how I meditated on that! (And I’m totally using “D6 parent”…love that.) The best part of homeschooling to me wasn’t the “schooling” but the ability to be a D6 parent, to start the day off in the Word and spend as much time in it as we wanted, and to spend the rest of the day walking out those verses in one way or another. After reading your post, I read Deuteronomy 6 again and remembered when life was “simpler” in that way. I definitely still teach them through life interaction, always going back to the Word. But these questions got me…”what does my family see? What message am I communicating to them as it relates to God and family?”…I’m wondering how often I say, “I have to finish this,” as I sit at my laptop. “…how effective can any of our ministries be if we are not good ministers in the places that we have been called to stand?”….no words…just amen. I agree and KNOW that God is taking back the family. The evil one HAS done much to destroy it, and continues to…but GOD. And God uses the parents…it has to start with US.

      “It’s interesting what is uncovered when you press into God, isn’t it? “…no coincidence that this came up right at the conclusion of that study. God is always teaching and illuminating. And I thank you, Kim, for being used to redirect me to that D6 foundational teaching. This was a good, good word. Doing the “perfectly perfecting things”….girl, I could mediate on that alone. :) Love you so very much as well, my sister.

      • Reply Mona February 27, 2012 at 2:23 pm

        So convicted right here. I am guilty of being toooo tired, to overwhelmed, toooo sleepy to interact with my Niko when we get home and I KNOW God is calling me to step up my mommie game. I’ve been feeling some kind of way lately. He has been acting some kind of way. I’ve been so stressed/irritated by my job that I’ve taken it home with me on the Metro and home. UGH. Thank you so much Kim and Kim-confirmation. Yep thank you Jesus!

        • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 3:00 pm

          KIm this is soooo great. And I’m so glad forthe confirmation before I even have kids. And I love Deut 6, and u already know I’m stealing the D6 parent. WOW! I love it! It’s funny because in my phone I have a memo in my memo pad that is something that God gave me a loooong time ago. Its called Kingdom minded. It’s somethingthe Lord had me prophecy to myself in MArch 2011. Let me share “I will be a kingdom minded parent, and wife. I will have a kingdom ninded husband and I will have kingom minded children.” I look at this post in my phone when I get tired of the waiting process, but thanks Kim for reminding me of this. Love both of the Kims and all you ladies too!

  • Reply Heather February 27, 2012 at 9:23 am

    Good for you! I think this is a great reminder to be more proactive about family matters. I find myself procrastinating or, like you said, busy on other things, and time is flying by.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm

      That’s the thing, Heather….TIME. Wow, how it flies by! I cannot believe I now have two teens. I will look up and they will be gone. I don’t want to have any regrets. We tend to think when we’re called by God to do something, it has to be NOW. Everything in its season… THIS season is so very short.

  • Reply Kelli February 27, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Absolutely!!! Just recently, I’ve felt the nudge to be more intentional about how much time I spend praying & confessing the Word rather than complaining or worrying. Just in the last week I’ve noticed a change in my motivation to do things around the home that need to be done & I know it’s because I’ve been obedient to the call to make more time for focused prayer.
    That’s the way of the Holy Spirit. He leads us in ways that ultimately effect everything around us for the good when we’re obedient.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 2:53 pm

      Kelli, it’s truly amazing how things change around us when WE change. I’ve noticed as well the difference it makes when I’m praying rather than complaining, etc. And so interesting because just last night I was thinking about how our obedience is not just for ourselves, but for those in our sphere of influence, and especially those in our home. It affects EVERYTHING.

    • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Kelli, Never noticed you on the blog before but I gotta say I love your blog girl. I love your writings. They are so beautiful, so transparent, so deep, so profound and yet so simple. I love it! Can’t wait to buy your book. Love ya! Kristian

  • Reply Kim Teamer February 27, 2012 at 10:27 am

    “We only get one shot at this thing.” (My husband’s comment this AM regarding family and raising up our kids.)

    It profoundly impacted my heart. What a sobering truth. What makes it so stunning, especially now, is the fact that 2 of the youth from our church were sentenced to prison (at different times). Good kids with familiar backgrounds. Decent kids. One from a broken home. One from a modern family. Many other dynamics at play in both of their lives.

    The family of both young men, both blood and extended Christian family, are devastated, but standing by both in love.

    I say all that to say, we have got to focus ministry efforts on nurturing, building up, and supporting the family, allowing God to lead, direct and heal.

    Let me just say that the father of one of the youth reported that at sentencing, approximately 50 saints came to show support in the court room. The cell mate of the youth saw and said, “Man, when I get out, I’m going to your church.” Also, the judge, praise God, gave a lighter sentence (which I’m told is unheard of). The other youth is out now, and though he has some serious health concerns, there was a revealing light with his story as well.

    Thanks, you guys, for letting me share. Family is a gift, a blessing, and a responsibilty from on high. We must, as Heather and Kelli said, be proactive and intentional about it.

    Praying Without Ceasing,
    K

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 3:01 pm

      “We only get one shot at this thing”….EXACTLY. It IS a sobering truth. Time is passing. Why should everything “out there” seem so urgent and not the “main thing” God has given us…ministry in the home? I KNOW that had to be devastating to watch those young men go through that. Prison….who would ever think your child is going to prison? Even as I type that, I think of one of our blog sisters who is going through that with her older child. Life is hard. It’s full of twists and turns and heartache. But wow, I pray it be said of us that we were excellent stewards of the ministry God has given us in our homes. “Proactive and intentional”….absolutely!

  • Reply MIchele Cushatt February 27, 2012 at 10:44 am

    I’m in the same position, doing the same type of strategic planning. In fact, this weekend my husband spent the majority of our time talking about this, trying to identify the critical priorities, and the other things we can let go — for a season or maybe forever. It’s not easy though, is it?! I truly enjoy doing a variety of things, but I’m learning it simply isn’t possible to do it all. I must choose. And in the choosing, I hope to discover a richer, more intentional life.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 3:07 pm

      Michele, yes, yes, yes! It’s so vital (and so wonderful when it’s a team effort) to sit down and actually work through the priorities. I’m a paper and pen person :), so I love to take a look at things on paper. Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve got going until you see it on paper. And deciding what to let go, whether for a season or forever…no, it’s not easy. And it’s especially not easy when these are things that are bearing fruit. But God prunes even that, so we can bear more fruit in the areas that are needful. “…in the choosing, I hope to discover a richer, more intentional life”…beautiful. Praying for the Lord’s direction for you, my friend!

  • Reply Tamara Davis February 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Hello everybody! I often say that when I leave this earth, I do not want my kids to have a different view of me than the rest of the world. I do not want to give the world or anything else more of me than I give my children. My sister and I talk about how we have to be very proactive in our parenting because of the generational curse of mothers walking out on their families. Not only do I want to hold my family close and be a living, Godly example for them, but I also want to increase my time and communication to ALL people in my life who need to see, hear and experience the love of God.

    Life has a way of snatching away valuable time, if we allow it. I do not want to just be a person sitting on the sidelines while life is passing me by. The two most valuable and influential jobs on this earth are that of a spouse and a parent. So yes, I will forever be tweaking and growing as a mother in my home.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 9:20 pm

      Hey Tamara! This is so good right here…”I do not want to give the world or anything else more of me than I give my children”…and yet, it’s so convicting! When I think of time spent answering emails or blog comments, etc (again, things I LOVE to do), that time adds up…is that more time all put together than time I’ve given my kids that day? I need to examine that. We can be so easily deceived because we’re *with* our kids, but intentional time is something altogether different. “The two most valuable and influential jobs on this earth are that of a spouse and a parent”…amen…Lord, may our influence be all positive, for your glory.

  • Reply Kara February 27, 2012 at 11:28 am

    Change is on the horizon…I sense it. Now here is my problem, jumping ahead, anticipating or should I say assuming the change and the whole process with it…smh
    I like that you said, you were prayerfully working on a strategic plan. I think sometimes I forget what come first, lol. We live in such a fast paced society that it is often a temptation to just jump on the band wagon of change without seeking God first.
    Well you are showing a great example of being a virtuous woman. The words you spoke on this post, showed your strength and your honor. Your intentions are motivated by Godly virtue. I appreciate your willingness to sacrifice whatever it is that is required by God so that you can be exactly who He created you to be in this new season.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      Kara, I wanted to make sure I said “prayerfully” because it’s easy to start planning a strategy without the Lord. He’s the One who jumpstarted this, so I needed to seek Him as to what He had in mind for my home and my time…or, I should say, the time HE gives me and wants me to steward for His glory. “We live in such a fast paced society that it is often a temptation to just jump on the band wagon of change without seeking God first”…TRUE. I didn’t want anyone to think this was a bandwagon everyone needed to jump on. God HAS to be in it in a very real and personal way for YOUR life and home. So if change is on the horizon, PRESS IN, my sister. :) God will show you exactly what that change entails and take you step by step…

  • Reply Pam C. February 27, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Great post! We have been discussing our family strategic plan as well. Developing ways to spend more time with family and kids and leaving the “foolishness” associated with work and non-essential matters alone. Kids just want your time and not the material things. Trying to juggle spending time with each child can be challenging, but we are working it out! Within the past few weeks, I have met parents who also have children with special educational and developmental needs, and they speak about the importance of just enjoying each other’s company and playing. God knows what we are need of, and He leads us each and everyday. My prayer each day to do God’s will and to be a blessing to someone else.

    • Reply Tamara Davis February 27, 2012 at 8:26 pm

      Pam C., I have three children, two of which are teens. The Lord gave me a really creative idea of how to spend time with them–Mommy and Me days. I take them out, just me and one of them alone, to whatever restaurant they want to go to and whatever activity they want to do. My oldest son is next and I am looking forward to going go-kart racing with him and then filling my belly joyfully with chicken wings. My daughter’s next time will be a place that has adult sized trampolines LOL. My youngest has enjoyed beating me in miniature golf. I take plenty of pictures and I know I am making memories with them that they will carry on with their children.

      • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 9:32 pm

        Love this, Tamara! Specially tailored outings for each child…they’ll always remember that!

      • Reply Pam C. February 28, 2012 at 11:28 am

        Thanks for sharing Tamara! What a wonderful idea. I am going to start doing that too; and I can associate it with their behavior as well, since they are still young. I always tell them, “Do what you have to do, so that you can do what you want to do.” Got that line from my mom and Denzel. LOL

        • Reply Tamara Davis February 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm

          They sure do enjoy it and I enjoy the time to connect with them without distractions. I think for my mother’s birthday my sister and I might have a “Mommy and Me” day with her. LOL

          And oh, I remember reading an article called “The High Calling of Motherhood” a few years ago. It was written by a lady from the P31 ministries but I cannot recall her name. It helped start my journey on embracing motherhood.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 9:31 pm

      Pam, you know I chuckled at “leaving the ‘foolishness’ associated with work and non-essential matters alone”….say it! :) And it’s the foolishness that tries to take over! Awesome that you all have been discussing your family strategic plan…and you’re right, it doesn’t have to be elaborate. Time is really what our kids value. Just spending time. “God knows what we are need of, and He leads us each and everyday”…and I’m so thankful that He knows each family’s unique needs. If we seek Him, He will lead us. Blessings to you and your family, Pam!

  • Reply Mona February 27, 2012 at 2:40 pm

    Ok sorry guys, I’ve been all over this post today LOL. I just feel so compelled because I know the Lord has been speaking to me as it relates to being a better parent/example to my son via my walk, talk, attitude, gestures, intentions actions, deeds and everything else that entails being a better parent. I’ve learned I can’t give him what he needs if I am out of order LOL. Time to get all things in ORDER and it starts in now. Thanks everyone for the great dialogue. I’ve got a lot of points to ponder!
    Mona

    • Reply Kristian February 27, 2012 at 3:10 pm

      Mona that is sooo good girl! Yes WE have got t obe in order to give of ourselves to ur family. True True. True. And I know for me if I don’t get my prayer tine DAILY I am mesed up. HA, but Im serious! So I know what u saying. Will be prayng for u regarding this. Love You!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 27, 2012 at 9:39 pm

      Mona, I’m with Kristian…this is sooo good. You hit the nail on the head!…we really do show our kids a lot with even “gestures.” Nothing escapes them…body language, facial expressions, voice tone…”and everything else that entails being a better parent.” I know it may not *seem* like it, but I have a smart mouth and can get “out of order” in a heartbeat if I’m in the flesh. LOL I’m the parent they need when I take the time to sit before the Lord, pray, and read the Word…all of which helps me walk by the Spirit throughout the day. I’m with you in saying “Time to get all things IN ORDER”…amen, my sister! :)

  • Reply Geri February 27, 2012 at 4:12 pm

    Oh Kim, I know you read this a thousand times, but this blog is highly appropriate.

    I used to journal faithfully; religiously every day. About four years ago, I was rereading one of my journals and realized that what was written in them, although they were words from my heart, they were not things of a good report, poor, of God. So, I stopped journaling. Yesterday, I brought a new journal (this has been my fourth journal since my hiatus) an long with a new pen (you must have a new pen) and this morning, I penned my first entry, “Dear God, I am giving you total authority to re-write my life!” “I know some things are going to be unfamiliar, I may become unpopular (not that I thought I was), but God, I am going willingly. No more “kicking and screaming” and asking, “Are You talking to me, God?” then….I read today’s blog. I almost ran across my hotel room! This is how strategic God is.

    This past weekend, I went to Orlando with my best friend, her two brothers and my daughter. I dropped my daughter off to spend the night with some friends and we visited the outlets, had dinner and listened to some jazz. Somehow, I’d become the chauffeur the entire weekend. When we departed on Sunday, I went to pick up my daughter and I was literally exhausted and I didn’t feel up to making the two hour drive to Jacksonville, so my daughter and I decided to stay one more night in Orlando. It was just what I needed; peaceful and rest and this hotel was a block and-a-half away from her friends and not 35 minutes away like the previous hotel. So she was able to visit with her friends while I enjoyed some much needed quiet time. I thought about spending some time in prayer, but God allowed me to just “be quiet”. It was great. I’m usually. Commuting to work or taking my daughter to rehearsal, visiting my son, and running errands, I had no idea how much I needed that quiet time.

    Everything happens for a reason. That’s what I called my day on yesterday. Kim, you have done an awesome job with this ministry and I know that God has been preparing you for more. In His own time He will gracefully move you into that direction. I pray that you continue to hear and obey His voice. Thank you 1000 x 1000 for being obedient thus far!! I can’t wait to see where he takes you next!

    Blessings and love always,
    Geri

    • Reply Tamara Davis February 27, 2012 at 8:20 pm

      I need the same thing. I need three days of sleeping in and not having to pick or take anybody anywhere. Just three days to do absolutely nothing. I really feel you Geri. I really do. Someone at church told me tonight that they had a vision of me running around in a hamster’s wheel. I was like “Lord, in some areas of my life, that’s how I feel.” Even though my body gets tired, I wouldn’t trade my mom life for nothing :o)

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 28, 2012 at 8:41 am

      Geri, I can’t believe you bought a new journal YESTERDAY and wrote with your new pen (totally agree you must have a new pen! :)) “Dear God, I am giving you total authority to rewrite my life!” Then you read this blog?? Yes, God is so STRATEGIC! Love that Geri. And love your heart to give your life totally to God and let HIM write the story. And what a blessing to have that quiet time. I see that as going hand in hand with what you wrote in the journal. We often have to get quiet and rest in order to hear the new things God wants to do in and through us. So appreciate your encouragement, my Colorful Sister. :) Your example is always so inspiring to me.

    • Reply Kim Teamer February 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm

      Geri,
      I love this! A new journal plus a new pen, of course, for re-writing your story. Sounds like an amazing life-changing adventure. I can just imagine the type of intimacy you’ll experience with the LORD. I’m excited! I may join you, just so I can track the course. Ooooh, what fun!
      Hugs & Thanks,
      Kim

      • Reply Geri February 28, 2012 at 10:12 pm

        Hey Tamara, I wouldn’t trade mom life at all!

        Kim, thank you!

        Kim T., if you decide to do this, please let me know. We’ll have to share!

  • Reply catrina February 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Boy did this message hit home. God has been dealing with me for a few months about committment and trust. I decided that my resolution for the New Year would address both of these issues and I would seek the Lord as to how he would have me to really be more committed to him and how I can really trust him with everything in my life. After the first two months of the year just breezed on by, I decided that I really need to take action and address this tugging that I feel to boggle down on my resolutions. Me and a few of my friends decided to enter into a fast. I always get so much clarity afterwards and definitely come out of the fast much closer to God. With the help of my sisters in Christ, we thought it would be much better to address all of our committments to the Lord, families, and our health in corporate agreement.

    I have also been feeling a nudging about my family as well. I just finished your book, Heavenly Places and Treva’s transformation really touched me. I think we all have a little bit of Treva in us, but what really hit home was her relationship with her girls. Years went by so quickly and she didn’t realize that she was absent for most of it. It was truly a wake up call for me in that regard. My prayer is that I can eventually remove some of these hats that I wear. I plan to examine my priorities and realign my committments and make sure that they are aligned with what God wants for me. By the time I come out of this Daniel fast, I hope to have a praise report for you.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 28, 2012 at 8:46 am

      Catrina, I praise God that the message hit home for you. I love how you took your resolutions to a whole new level with the fast (those first two months of the year really did breeze by, didn’t they??). Digging in that way with the Lord and doing so with sisters in Christ will bring awesome results. I agree with you about Treva. :) She’s so “out there,” but there really may be a little of her in us. What are we missing out on in our children’s lives unnecessarily? “I plan to examine my priorities and realign my commitments and make sure they are aligned with what God wants for me”…amen….that’s EXACTLY where I am. I want to hear that praise report, sis!

  • Reply Ciara Thompson February 27, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Kim, Kim,Kim you hit it right on the nose.! God has gotten my attention!! God told me two Saturday ago to do someting. I was laying in bed and the Lord said Adopt A Baby. I was blown away. I was in total shock. I started talking to God about all the reason why I can’t adopt. Going to school, still live at home with my parents, have a job but its not enough to support me and a baby. KIDS ARE NOT CHEAP. I was thinking then what will my friends and family think of the whole situation. At first i was like God if this is you and not just my thought Lord give me sign. He gave me a sign , then I said Lord I need more conformation. So I went to youth service on last Friday and the sermon was about me. I even thought about not doing it. Being disobedient. In the sermon the preacher talked about Being disobedient and I was like ‘Oh Lawd’ let me do what you what me to do. So once again I asked God last night show me one more time, and then I will do the next steps. So I woke up this morning and read your blog. The Lord has gotten my attention now after asking Him three times to do what he wants me to do. Thanks Kim

    • Reply Ciara Thompson February 27, 2012 at 6:19 pm

      And to be honest I’m still not sure…lots of praying and fasting

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 28, 2012 at 8:50 am

      Wow, Ciara!!! I see why you were blown away and “in total shock.” :) That’s huge. And yet, one thing I ask myself in those situations is whether this is something I could’ve ever come up with on my own. Given how shocked you were, I doubt it was *your* thought. :) And yet, you’re right to be prayerful as to God’s direction and timing. Sometimes He calls us to something (oftentimes in fact), and it’s not for RIGHT NOW. He’s preparing our hearts for what’s to come. No need to be anxious. Just pray as you’re doing, and He will lead you step by step by step. Yes, that would definitely get my attention too. :)

    • Reply Kristian February 28, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      Ciara, Hey log twin! WOW! That def has to be God! I know fior sure that wasn’t your own mind thinknig of those things. Remember God knows what he is doing. Stay with him and he will lead you the right way!

  • Reply Danielle February 27, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    Oh, such a timely post, and – as always – great comments! I saw myself in so many of them. Tamara, I loved what you were saying about wanting your kids/family to see you no differently than the rest of the world. When I was reading Kim’s post, I started thinking about this phrase I heard once: “Your spouse and kids deserve your BEST, not your LEFTOVERS.” Really made me think – I could always be happy and “on” at work, in church, in public, etc., but then would sometimes think that at home I could let my stress and whatnot get to me and let my “ugly side” come out…….NOT GOOD!

    I have been thinking about this a lot lately – like when I’m playing with my daughter and I “just will check my phone this one time……ok, one more time….ok, email…..ok……”. I need to stop – nothing on that phone/email/etc. is THAT important. Where are my priorities?

    This past January I made a resolution to intentionally wake up early, before anyone was up, to 1) get into the Word/prayer, 2) have a cup of HOT coffee alone, and 3) get some of my work done for the day, so that when the day actually started, I could be more fully present for my daughter, housework, and marriage. It’s been working really well so far, and while I am not 100% there yet (will I ever be?!!??!), I am in a MUCH better place. It’s working…..

    My strategic plan, like so many others here, is to first focus on my relationship with my Father, and then with my family. Then, all the other stuff will get my “leftovers”.

    • Reply Tamara D. Davis February 28, 2012 at 7:39 am

      Yes, yes, yes Danielle. Cell phones are a big distraction and I’ve learned to silence them when I am out to dinner or with company. I want to be “present” for the person demanding my attention, including my babies.

    • Reply Kristian February 28, 2012 at 4:29 pm

      Danielle, girl you are so right! Loved your post and how true it really is. I love your last sentence “Then all the other stuff will get my leftovers.” How cute and how it needs to be that way in all our lives. :) Smile Sis!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 28, 2012 at 9:24 pm

      Love this, Danielle–>”my Father…my family…all the other stuff will get my ‘leftovers'”…how is it that we sometimes get that all turned around?? We really do tend to give others our “best”…our best attitude, best manners, best effort. It’s great the we can “let down” and be ourselves around family, but they really do deserve our best…not our flesh. Checking the phone….I’m guilty…it’s a shame because it wasn’t that long ago when we weren’t even using cell phones. Why are they suddenly SO necessary ALL THE TIME? Just this week, I’ve been leaving it in my purse while at home for stretches of time just to convince myself I don’t need to see every text the minute it comes. SMH Love your commitment to waking up early. When I homeschooled, I had to do that in order to get my Bible/prayer time in, as well as writing. I still get up early, but I may return to an even earlier time. There’s nothing like that quiet time with hot coffee. :) I see why you walk with such strength and joy. :)

  • Reply LaKeisha Collins February 27, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    What an on point, on time word for me. How strategic of God to give you this word to share during this particular season in my life. To say that this is confirmation for some things the Lord has been saying to me concerning my home life would be an understatement. I know this comment is pretty vague, but Kim, know that if you wrote this for no one else, it was definitely for me.

    Thank you.

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate February 28, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      LaKeisha, I’m amazed that this is on point and on time for you too. How does God do that?? He truly is STRATEGIC in all that He does. So thankful that this spoke to you as well. May the Lord’s purposes be worked out in our homes and in our hearts.

  • Reply Homeschooling and Other Foolish Parental Notions | Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman February 29, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    […] my best friend Carla Yarbrough’s blog post Purpose and Persecution and Kim Cash Tate’s posts Strategic Plan and D6 Parenting and chime in on those too! Related Posts:Special Obligation: We Must DieSpecial […]

  • Reply Lynn June 19, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    Kim,

    I am 4 months late finding this post but the Lord is strategic in His ways. I have visited your blog from time to time over the past year or so but haven’t visited in a long time. Tonight, the Lord put you in my mind and I decided to visit again and saw your post about having a Strategic Plan. My heart was encouraged when I read your post. It confirmed in me once again that God values the family and the place of the woman in the home. I have been at home with my children for 12 years and now there has been an attack on my husband’s ability to provide for us due to job loss. My father has been helping us with expenses but has now said he can no longer continue to help and he’s telling me to get a job. In my 12 years of being at home, my husband and I have learned how to walk by faith in tough times. This time is the toughest by far and I feel weary at times. My husband has been looking for a job daily since his position was dissolved at the end of 2011. He has only been able to find 2 small paying sales jobs which are not in his field. Those jobs did not last because he didn’t meet their required quotas. He has been looking feverishly but cannot find a job that pays what used to support us. In the 20 years that my husband and I have been married, he has ALWAYS had a job. He had a job when I met him. I feel the pressure upon me to get a job but I haven’t worked in 12 years and my heart is so torn. I have four sons (17, 15, 13, 8) and I am also a D6 parent. God put a strong desire in my heart to stay home with my children when my olest son was 5 years old. I was there when he stepped on the school bus for the first time and now he is about to be a Senior in High School this Fall! I also felt a leading to write and started a blog with my husband last Fall. Now I am confused about God’s will. Even though I see the seriousness of our situation, I still feel like I can’t be pressured by it or by what other people are suggesting that I do. They have not walked in our shoes of faith and therefore have no right to tell me what I should do without hearing from the Lord. I take my directions from God and from the sense of direction and peace I feel in my spirit. I need to hear God for myself and that’s why I’ve been praying, “Lord, are you changing my season and taking me away from my family? How are the roles suddenly changed; me working and he at home?” The Bible says that the women are to be busy at home not the men. I feel like I’m being “evicted” out of my home. Even if I get a job, my man doesn’t have a job. Ladies, you know what I mean. That’s hard for a man. I wouldn’t be fully comforted until I knew he had a job too and even then, I don’t know how my heart would be at rest knowing my 3 teenage sons would be home with no supervision and my 8 year old would be in daycare for 12 hours a day (something he has NEVER known). My husband is also a Pastor and this situation is challenging his ability to stay focused on his Kingdom assignment because he’s so concerned about taking care of his family. My heart is at home and I feel sick every time I think about leaving the house. I feel like this will disrupt the flow and rhythm that all of us are used to in our home (especially my youngest son). Society doesn’t uphold a woman’s decision to stay home with her children and raise them up in godly ways. Family members don’t always support it either. In fact, a very close family member told me, “I never understood why you made that decision to leave your job in the first place!” Another one told me she believed some women purposely get pregnant so they don’t have to go to work. That was NEVER my reason to have a child. In the 12 years I have been home with my four African American males, those family members have never once commented on the value of my time spent with my children and the good fruit that has come as a result. I felt like I was called to preserve a godly seed for the Lord especially in this day in time when Black males are dying in the streets in ridiculous numbers and those that aren’t are being locked up in prison. But as I said, the severity of this financial attack has caused me to be confused about the will of God for me now. Others are saying I need to leave the home but I need to hear God for myself. My husband has always supported my decision to stay home with the boys and he still wants me to be home because he knows that’s where my heart is. That’s why he is searching day and night to find a way to take care of us. Please pray that I will hear God’s voice clearly and that our situation will turn around and be better than before!

    • Reply Kim Cash Tate June 19, 2012 at 11:11 pm

      Lynn, I hear your heart so loudly and clearly, and it truly resonates with me. I know what it’s like for God to move so strongly within to lead you to be at home with your kids. That was me. I had never thought about being at home…NEVER…but when God began to move in my heart, it was unmistakable. We’ve never had to deal with a serious financial trial like yours, but still…I totally hear you. With any situation, when we have a strong conviction from the Lord, no one else’s voice can move us. We have to hear from God. What speaks loudly as well is the fact that you and your husband are in agreement on this. It would be a whole different matter if you weren’t. Praise God that he’s searching diligently, and as I read your message, I had to stop and pray for the Lord to bless him (and your family) with a job. “I take my directions from God and from the sense of direction and peace I feel in my spirit. I need to hear God for myself…” Amen, Lynn….amen. I love your heart and your conviction and your determination to raise your sons in the Lord. I’m joining you in prayer for employment for your husband. Thanks so much for sharing your heart.

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